Losing weight has its benefits, and here is no doubt about it. I think sometimes though, we forget that our body is going through more changes than just the loss of fat from our body. As the pounds come off, we have to address a variety of things, things other may not completely understand. For me, one of the hardest areas is my wardrobe. I know this is more psychological than anything, but it is something I’m sure others losing weight may have an issue with as well. It’s like waging war with yourself, but no one is the winner.
I’ve lost 50 pounds so far. While I am happy with the weight loss, I am still very overweight and I’m back on track trying to lose another 40-50 pounds. I will share more about the “getting back on track” part later. Today I want to address clothing. I wear black pants and button up shirts with our company logo on them every day at work. Seems pretty simple. When I started the job a year ago, I paid close attention to the sizing chart Lands End provides with their business attire. I made sure I selected shirts matching my measurements. When I first started wearing them, they fit fine, they buttoned up ok, but when I sat down, I HATED the way they fit. I do not usually wear button up shirts and I’m sure this is the reason. They would pucker in the belly area, reminding me, and everyone else, I am overweight. As I lost weight, the shirts slowly started to lose the visible pucker. It was nice. The only problem is I now look like I am swimming in my shirts when I’m standing up. When I heard they were placing a Lands End order, I went ahead and had them order me one new shirt. ONE. Not five like I currently own, but ONE! My rationale was, I’m not done losing weight so I didn’t want to use up my uniform allowance on shirts too big for me. It sounded good. I knew the truth though….I knew I didn’t want to go back to wearing a shirt which would pucker in the belly. The shirt arrived, I took it home, I tried it on, and, yes, if I was being honest, I would say it fit me EXACTLY like the first set of shirts fit me when I first started losing weight. The only difference is, I have five BIG shirts so I don’t have to wear the tighter shirt.
We were taking pictures for work so I wore one of my baggy shirts and brought my new one along to put on for the picture. Again, my reason for the second shirt was because I knew we were doing the pictures later in the day and I have a propensity for spilling something on me and I wanted a spare shirt. Let’s face it, we all know the real reason, I wanted the baggy shirt for comfort then change into the tighter shirt for pictures and THEN change back into my baggy shirt for the rest of the day. It is a little ridiculous, I know. I admit it. Typing it here and now reminds me how silly it is, but it’s something I have to get past.
I own two pairs of black pants I wear to work every day. I do a load of laundry every other day throughout the week. I have one other pair in the same size, but they don’t have pockets, so I will only wear them when I truly forgot to do laundry. The sad thing is, over a month ago I bought a pair of pants in my new size. They fit great. You can actually see my legs. They don’t look like they are two sizes too big and dragging on the ground…..which, by now, I’m sure you can imagine is EXACTLY how my current work pants look. I’ve worn them ONCE to work. They weren’t baggy. They weren’t loose. They weren’t comfortable. I felt like I looked fatter in them.
Please understand, body image isn’t really an issue with me. I openly admit I’m overweight. I’m not the type of person to wear a bikini the size I am, but I don’t feel it would be wrong to do so if I wanted to. I just don’t want to. I’m happy with myself and who I am. I just can’t let go of the baggy clothes to wear clothes to fit my new size. I’ve gotten used to the comfort of the ones I’m wearing and when they are tight, it bothers me. I try to convince myself to wear them, because then they would be tight and it would motivate me to keep losing weight and I TRY to do it. I look at them in the morning and think to myself, just wear them. It’s how your clothes USED to fit you before you lost the weight and then I grab the more comfortable clothes.
I use other excuses as well, such as, I don’t have the money to buy a bunch of clothes in my current size only to have to buy more when I finish losing my weight. Another one is, maybe I’ll like the smaller size and then get frustrated because I only have one pair. The funniest one, to me, is well I can’t find the exact same pants I’m currently wearing and I don’t like the material of the new ones as well so I just don’t wear them. I know it is all psychological. I know the clothes fit me now like my old one’s fit me when I was 50 pounds heavier. Perhaps just putting this down in words, sharing the craziness, will help me to realize it is time to start wearing some of the clothes to fit me today.
What are some of the psychological obstacles you face in your weight loss? Has anyone else had trouble giving up their larger clothes? I have given up a few pairs of jeans because they just would not even remotely stay up anymore and with my weird build, belts don’t really work. Baby steps I guess.
No matter where you are in your weight loss, remember someone has gone before you and someone is coming behind you with the same, or similar struggles. Don’t give up. If you get off track, just plant the seeds to get back on.
Every day is a new day, embrace it, and move forward!