We live in a world of instant gratification. No one wants to put in the work to see WHERE a relationship can go, let alone put in the work to make it last.
I refer to dating today as microwave dating.
Think about how an oven cooks. It cooks very slowly from the outside in. The heat slowly seeps into the meat, allowing the flavors to simmer in the heat.
A microwave cooks differently. A microwave causes the water molecules in the food to agitate at atomic levels, generating heat, which in turn cooks the food. The radio waves affect the food as a whole, not from the outside in, so everything heats up quickly. Microwave food is quick, it’s easy. Think about heating up something that has multiple ingredients in it. For example, heating up a piece of pie. Because the liquid pie filling heats up quicker than the denser, flaky crust, you have to be careful biting into it. The crust may be a perfect temperature, but the filling could be so hot it burns your mouth.
Relationships can be compared to ovens and microwaves.
The simmer is similar to getting to know each other. When you think about putting a roast in the over, think about how the meat looks as you are preparing it. It is a thick chunk of meat. It is red and unappealing. It is compact. As you allow the roast to simmer on a low heat, the thickness begins to break down. The meat begins to separate slightly, allowing all of the flavors and juices to fall down into the meat, flavoring it throughout, not just on the outside surface. Getting to know someone can be viewed the same way. When you first meet someone, they give you the person they want you to meet. Sometimes they have walls up, making it difficult to get to know the true person. As those walls break down, their true personality comes out. Like a roast, if you have a great cut of meat, the flavors and the end result is comforting, appealing, enjoyable. When it is a bad cut of meat, it is hard, unappetizing. People are the same way. Taking the time to get to know someone, you learn if they are a great person or not. You learn if you want them around you for long periods of time. When they aren’t the right person for you, it isn’t enjoyable to be near them. It doesn’t mean the person is bad, just perhaps bad for you. Sometimes the same ingredients yield different results, depending on how you heat them. Take a French Bread Pizza for example. Taken out of the freezer, preparing one in the microwave and one in the oven. Both are edible. Same ingredients. The one out of the over will always taste just a little bit better.
When you jump into a relationship, believing they are your soul mate after one date, discussing the future before you even spend one minute with them puts you into the microwave dating world. It may be hot and sizzling quickly but it doesn’t have the true flavor that comes from allowing it to simmer. Sometimes it heats up so quickly that it overheats and explodes causing you to have to throw it away and leaving you with a mess to clean up.
Don’t get me wrong, microwaves are great. They serve their purpose. When you need something quick and filling, you throw it in the microwave, pull it out, eat, and move on. Think about all of your greatest “meal” moments. Was that meal prepared in the oven or the microwave? There is a reason you don’t prepare Thanksgiving dinner in a microwave. “Slow roasted has more appeal than “cooked quickly in a microwave” A home cooked meal is still synonymous with being prepared slowly in an oven or on a stovetop.
The next time you’re ready to enter into a relationship, think about what you want. Do you want a slow, simmered, tasty one or a quick, explosive one?