Category Archives: Every Day Life

This is about my every day life and the craziness around it. Be it good, bad, or indifferent, I wouldn’t want it any other way!

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Labeling Religion brings lack of acceptance – HaliPawz

dogs, dachshund, mastiff, tolerance, differences

We seem to love labels.  I don’t know if it’s an American thing, a world thing, but the idea of saying, “I’m just not sure, I’m still figuring it out” doesn’t seem to be used enough or accepted enough.

I had a conversation last night with a friend and we started discussing religion and family.  He has stated many times in the past he is agnostic but I have also heard him use the word “atheist” in the past.

The conversation took place because he wasn’t planning on going to church with his mom on Mother’s Day.  Now I don’t care if someone goes or doesn’t go to church, but it was his reasoning behind why he wasn’t going.  He said it was because he’s “atheist, agnostic, or whatever” (his words not mine).  You can’t really be Atheist, Agnostic, or whatever.  I called him out on his choice of words!

If he was, indeed, agnostic, going to church really would be no problem at all. Going to church with family would be no different than going to a family member’s house you don’t really care for, but you go out of respect or expectation.  As an agnostic person, you aren’t against the concept of a God, you’re just skeptical or non-committal towards the idea of God.  If this is the case, then suck it up, make your mom happy, and go to church.  It shouldn’t be an issue and you’re mom is happy.

His issue isn’t with God or even the existence of God, it is with the labels and expectations, mostly associated with organized religion.

I decided it was time for us to discuss this further and help him understand why others have difficulty respecting his stand when his stand is always changing.

I try to understand other’s points of views, even if I don’t always agree with them.  Because of this, I try to use words or terminology which will fit the person I am talking to.  If I’m talking to a Christian, I state I am a Christian, I just have difficulty with organized religion. If I’m talking to an Agnostic person, I state I most identify as a Christian but all it means is I believe in a higher spirit, just not necessarily organized religion. It is the same thing, I’m wording it for the best comprehension.

I accept and respect ANY religion which does not bring harm to others.  Yes, even the understood “Christian” religions who choose to kill “in the name of God” aren’t doing it because of God, they are doing it because of some organized religion directing them to do so.

How many of us know someone like this?

Why does anyone think their religion is better than another’s, when, in reality, it is all the same?

Imagine, if you will, going back hundreds of years and talking to a Native American about his religion. Now imagine you are a Christian determined to convert him to Christianity because you believe in it so much.  First you tell him his religion is wrong because he prays to a “spirit” to bring rain.  He is wrong because he believes in Gods and Godesses and there can be only ONE God.  You tell him all this and then proceed to tell him about YOUR God, your religion. You tell him about God, Jesus, Holy Spirit, Jaweh, King of Kings, etc….Ummm can you see how that information could make a head spin??? Tell me again what the difference is? Never mind the fact BOTH believe in an ultimate higher being. BOTH believe in human immortality and an afterlife. Just because someone puts different words to the same concept doesn’t make it wrong or give it a different meaning! When a Christian is experiencing a drought, he prays to God for rain but I sure the term “Mother Nature” has been said at one point in time, either by them or by someone they know.  Why is it so easy to accept Mother Nature but not another person’s terminology for God?


Religion isn’t easy.  It is the desire to accept something that is not felt, not touched, not seen. Then we (humans) come along and make it more difficult by wanting to wrap our beliefs, the way WE understand it, up in a pretty box and put a bow on it because we cannot accept the fact it is all the same, just summarized differently.

The next time you want to have an issue with someone else’s beliefs, take a minute, ask them to explain it, or use the Internet to get a better understanding, if it is completely different than your own, respectfully explain your belief, your understanding….but in the end, if your belief or theirs brings NO HARM or DISRESPECT to others, accept it as theirs and move on.  One is not better than the other.

When respect and acceptance of differences begin to be a norm, society will be a much better place!

If you liked this and want to stay up to date with me, follow me on Twitter @HaliPawz  or Like me on Facebook.com/HaliPawz 

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Is Darth Vader secretly a Dominant in BDSM – HaliPawz

Darth Vader is known worldwide.  Just the mere mention of his name and a clear image comes to mind.  I believe Darth Vader secretly is a Dominant in the BDSM world.

Let’s look at the facts.

He has an imposing presence.  He exudes confidence.  When he enters a room, eyes turn to him.  He is tall and well built.  Not to mention he wears all black very well.

Imposing Darth Vader

He is mysterious.  He wears a mask almost all the time.

He wears sexy, lickable boots. I am sure a submissive would be happy to lick and kiss those shiny boots any day.

He would definitely be into breath play. With is ability to force choke, he could choke a sub during play with no effort on his part.  He’d just have to be careful not to take it too far.

He is a complex and conflicted man.  Two traits you often see with a strong Dom.

His theme song is a march!  How easy it would be to punish someone to it’s beat (no pun intended!)

He likes his army to be clones, obeying his every command, responding without argument.  They know how to line up, how to wait for instruction. Just like a Dom, he doesn’t think enough of them to give them names; only two had names (I guess those would be considered the alpha subs!)

Darth Vader army

He loves power.

He likes to have a weapon in his hand and knows how to use it.

He is comfortable causing pain in others.

Let’s face it, Darth Vader is one badass who loves to be feared and respected and that is why I believe he is secretly a Dom in the BDSM world!

If you liked this and want to stay up to date with me, follow me on Twitter @HaliPawz  or Like me on Facebook.com/HaliPawz 

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Ticks are back out in full force, let’s understand them and the myths around them – HaliPawz

deer ticks, dog ticks

It’s tick season.  I found one on Luke yesterday, a friend found one on their dog a couple days ago.  It is important to understand ticks to help prevent them.

I recently applied for a writing platform, CrowdSource, and in your submission application, you have to take different questions and write answers to them.  The first question I answered was, “How do ticks breathe?”  You would think this would be a simple answer to find with the help of the internet.  Surprisingly, it wasn’t.  I found answer’s that, ultimately, I learned were not correct.  More research and I learned some interesting facts.

The first thing I learned is ticks are not insects.  They are, in fact, arachnids.  An arachnid has two body parts and eight legs.  This means ticks are in the same category as spiders, scorpions, and mites.  One difference ticks have from spiders is they only have one way of breathing, not two, like most arachnids.  They are are able to breathe through an elaborate tracheae respiratory system which consists of a number of small, branching tubes that carry air to individual open pores, or cells, on their body. These tubes are filled with fluid and the gases diffuse in the tubes and ramify over the internal organs.

With over 900 types of ticks, it is easy to understand how they can live in almost any climate.  The American Dog Tick is one form of a  hard tick, which means it feeds continuously on blood, mates, then lays her eggs and dies.  Soft ticks differ in that they feed intermittently and lay several batches of eggs. Hard ticks are harmful to our pets because they draw large amounts of blood, they secrete neurotoxins that has been known to produce paralysis or even death, and by transmitting diseases, including Lyme disease, anaplasmosis, and Rock Mountain spotted fever, just to name a few.

Let’s look at a few tick myths:

Ticks do not jump, fly, drop from trees. They sit on tall blades of grass and wait for an animal to pass by.  They then crawl up and find a place on the animal to attach themselves and begin feeding.

Ticks do not burrow into the animal.  They only insert 1/8th of their body into the animal (or host)

You can not remove a tick with Vaseline, a match, alcohol, etc.  This does nothing except, in some cases, cause the tick to use their defense system and possibly regurgitate infected fluids into the host.

Ticks do not die during winter.  Some types even begin feeding around the first frost.  They can attach anytime of the year.

Not EVERY tick carries a disease.  Many do, but not all.  It can take up to 24 hours for the disease to be able to travel from the tick into the hosts bloodstream, so catching a tick quickly on both the animal or the human will minimize the chances of transmitting any disease.

When removing the tick, if you don’t get the head, it will grow another body is a MYTH!  It may cause an infection like any foreign item in your body can, but will eventually work it’s way out.

In addition to protecting your animal, it is important to protect yourself.

Deer ticks, which carry Lyme Disease, are not as aggressive as dog ticks so once they hit a barrier, such as clothing, they generally stop crawling.  This is why you find them close to sock lines, underwear, etc.  Tucking clothes in will help minimize your risk.

Make sure you protect your animal against fleas and ticks.  Talk to your veterinarian about which method they recommend, but it is important to also do your own homework.  In some instances, veterinarians, like most people in medical fields, may be influenced by representatives of the company or receive some kickbacks for how many quantities of a particular brand they sell.  You do not always have to get your preventative medicine from your veterinarian.  They can write a prescription and you can take it anywhere.  I get mine from Sam’s Club.  I have found them to be the cheapest around here.

If you do find a tick, on either your pet or yourself, do NOT rotate it to pull it out!  Ticks have more of a barb like attachment, not legs so you can not unscrew them out of the body.

The best ways to remove a tick is to take a pair of needle nose tweezers, squeeze the tick, and pull directly back.

There is also a tool called TickedOff Tick remover I have heard good things about.  I have thought about getting a couple, one to leave at the barn and one to leave at home, to see how well they work.  If anyone has used them, please leave a comment.

Bottom line, ticks are bad news.  Let’s get on the front side of preventative measures and react quickly when we find one on ourselves or our pets!

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Shopping Safely, Online and In Person – HaliPawz

Online Auction
Shopping can be a sport to some, a pain to others.  I have to admit, I’m not a shopper except at Christmas time, then I love to shop!  When I do shop, for the most part, I will do a lot of it online.  Sometimes it is easier to find what I am looking for online.  For example, Luke, my horse, is a draft horse, so I can’t just walk into any tack shop & buy stuff for him.  Sometimes, it is easier to purchase items from smaller companies than it is from a big box company.  Because of this, you want to make sure you are being SAFE and SMART with your purchases.
Here are some tips:
1.  Whenever possible, look for the little padlock icon in the URL (where it says  http://www…..). That padlock tells you the company is using a secure website.  It is more secure, your information is more protected.
padlock icon
Notice the padlock next to the word “PayPal”
2.  If it’s not a secure site, use PayPal or Google Wallet. Both of them offer the consumer protection against fraud.  Make sure you read their terms and conditions.  Understand there are time limits to request your funds back.  Scammers know the terms and conditions better than you do, so if they are dishonest, they will try to stretch it past that time or try to catch you up and get you to do something that goes against the company policy.  You are responsible for knowing all the details.  I wish I could say everyone is good and honest, but in reality, they aren’t.
3.  Never Never Never wire someone money.  If they don’t use the above, you don’t want what they are selling.  I wish I could say this more than once or have you repeat it over and over.  They will come up with great reasons why you should wire the money.  DO NOT LISTEN!   The same is true for using money orders.  Keep the same mindset.
4.  The old adage “If something is too good to be true….” Definitely applies here.  Sometimes the cheapest isn’t the best.  Make sure to look for hidden “maintenance” fees or outrageous shipping.  One example of this happening is with online contact lens companies.  They will advertise crazy inexpensive pricing for their contacts, when you go to check out, there will be ridiculous shipping charges or a “maintenance fee” tacked on.  It might have another name, like “processing fee.”  No matter what cute name they put on it, it adds to the price and it might not be cheaper.  Too often, by the time you get to that point, you see the amount but you have already put in your information and you don’t want the hassle of starting over.  They capitalize on the psychology of some behavior and still get the business.
4.  Auctions are another great way to get something for a good, or even great, price. I use them often, but again, use only secure sites or PayPal, etc.  Do your homework. Don’t get so caught up in the bidding that you end up spending more than you can find it elsewhere for.  Take a minute, look up the item online, see what price you can get it for, then pick a price you’re willing to spend and don’t go over it.  A lot of the better auction sites offer proxy bidding so you can put in the price you’re willing to spend and then walk away. Have the mindset you might lose, but you’ll be happy if you win.  One of my favorite online auction is Samsclub.com.  This is a fun one because you know the product, you know it’s backed by the company, and, for the most part, it is all brand new merchandise.  It made it to the auction because the item is low in the club or the on hand numbers on-line are too low to keep it on their website, so they move it to the auction to clear it out. For the dog and horse owners, another great one is Horseloverz.com.  One nice feature is you can wait up to four days to actually purchase your winning items, so if you’re bidding on quite a few items, you can pay for them all at once and have them shipped out with less shipping costs.  It is a little messy to wade through all of the items, but once you get comfortable with it, you can learn to use the filters to find what you are looking for.  It’s not as easy to find the dog stuff, but they have it from time to time, so keep checking back, items vary all the time.  Another tried and true site you can find a variety of items is ebay.com.  If you have any other favorites, please put them in the comments below to share with the readers.
5.  When I do shop in person, I like to support small businesses so I always make sure to grab their business card the first time.  Some of the them now use PayPal Here, square trade, or some other form of mobile credit card processing.  Sometimes these are connected to a smart phone or tablet.  It doesn’t mean they are not safe, but if you don’t recognize the company they are using, it is OK to ask them.  Pay attention to your credit card statements.
6. If at a Brick & Mortar (Wal-Mart, Target, etc) always always run your card as credit, not debit (even if it is a debit card).  By doing this, you are protecting yourself from someone seeing you key in your pin.  The person standing beside you on their phone “texting” could be snapping pictures of your credit card and memorizing your pin.  It also protects you more as a consumer.
7.  Make sure you have complicated passwords for anything and anyplace you would be putting your personal info into. This includes social media. If you use a smart phone to shop, always lock it (you should anyway) and don’t use 1,2,3,4 as a password. Make it something only YOU know, not family & friends. Don’t use birthday!  LOL  It is important to use something unique.
8.  Trust your gut! If something seems shady, don’t buy! No purchase is worth it.
9. Last, but not least, if you are truly concerned, get a second card / account that you use for online shopping / small business purchases.  Be careful of the fees that are involved.  I don’t do this because I follow the above steps. I probably purchase 60+% of non food / household items online.  It saves me time & allows for me to find the best price.
Oh….bonus tip….if you find something online that you really like from a larger company, put it in the shopping cart but don’t purchase.  A lot of times, within 24 hours you’ll get a “Did you forget something?” Email and they’ll offer free shipping with a code.  I hardly ever pay for shipping or very little.  Also check the site “RetailMeNot” for specials or just google the Business name with the word coupon after it and you may find some online. They don’t always work, but it’s worth a shot!
I hope these tips help! Happy shopping!
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My Chipotle Night at Home: Steak Bowl with White Rice, Chips & Mild Pico – HaliPawz

Chipotle, Copycat recipe, Basmati Rice

I love Chipotle.  It is one of those restaurants I could eat a couple nights a week.  There are times when I’m driving home at night and will weigh the cost of Chipotle over another fast food restaurant and Chipotle will almost always win.  One day recently, I started thinking about it and realized I am spending money for four ingredients.  I get the steak bowl with white rice, cheese, and lettuce.  I already make their Chips & Pico De Gallo so I wondered how difficult would it be to make their white rice and their steak?  I decided to tackle the task.  I was going to have Chipotle at home, I was going to attempt to make their steak bowl with the white rice to go with my Chips & Pico De Gallo.

I’m not a fancy cook.  I’m not someone who can just whip stuff together.  I use recipes when I’m trying something new.  After I’ve made it a few times, I might tweak it here or there to get it where I want it.

Let’s start with the rice. I have to admit, I have never made rice before.  Not in a real way.  I would buy box versions of flavored long grain and wild rice, but never a bag of rice I was preparing from scratch.  I didn’t even know there were so many varieties of rice.  I started doing research and learned I had to use Basmati rice.  I was excited.  I knew if it turned out well, I would probably make it often because I really like the rice.  After looking at a few different recipes for both the rice and the steak, I decided what I liked or didn’t like from various recipes to create my own.

CopyCat Chipotle Basmati (White) Rice

Ingredients

1 tbsp butter

(I always cook with real butter, you can also use 1 tbsp oil)

1 Cup Basmati Rice

2 cups water

1/2 tsp kosher salt

1 lime

2 tbsp Fresh Cilantro

Melt the butter over a medium heat, add the rice and saute it.  You want it to have almost a translucent (or wet) appearance.

Add the water, turn the heat up to high, and bring it to a boil.

As soon as it begins to boil, turn the heat down to low, place your lid on your pan, and let the rice simmer for 15-20 minutes.  You want the water to be absorbed

Turn off the heat.  Now the tough part….and trust me, you will be tempted, but DO NOT LIFT THE LID for 30 minutes after you turn off the heat.  The steam will help the rice be nice and fluffy and you want fluffy rice.  🙂

While it is steaming, in a small dish, mix the salt and the lime juice together until the salt is dissolved.  You can also get your cilantro ready at this time.  If you know how to chop cilantro with a knife, go for it, but I use my mini chopper because it works best for me.

After the tortuous, tempting 30 minutes of steaming WITHOUT CHECKING ON IT…..lift the lid, allowing the steam to escape and put the rice into a mixing bowl. Fluff the rice with a fork while adding the salt / lime mixture.

Add the cilantro slowly while continuing to fluff.

For just the Rice recipe without everything else, click here.

Basmati Rice, Cilantro, Copycat recipes

Copycat Chipotle Rice

 I always get the steak option when I go to Chipotle.  I love it.  As I am not a fan of spicy food, there are times I do feel like I would like it better if it wasn’t quite as spicy at times.  By making it at home, I realized I could control the spice level.  Many of the ingredients are used in my Pico De Gallo recipe as well, so it’s a great way to not waste ingredients when you make them at the same time.

Copycat Chipotle Steak Marinade

Makes four 8oz servings

2lbs Steak of your choice

(Recommend Skirt, Sirloin, or Ribeye)

1/2 cup Cilantro (Finely chopped)

1/2 Jalapeno

(Remove the seeds for a milder taste)

6 cloves of garlic

1/2 red onion

1/2 tsp Cumin (use up to 1 tsp to taste)

1/2 tsp kosher salt (or sea salt)

1/4 olive oil

1/2 tsp Crushed Red Pepper (use up to 1 tsp to taste)

1/2 tsp pepper

Mix all of the ingredients together in a bowl.  Rub the mixture onto the steak making sure to coat both sides really well.

Place the steak into the refrigerator for at least an hour but not longer than 24 hours.  The longer it marinates, the richer the flavor.  I recommend about 2-4 hours.

Prepare the meat either on the grill or by heating up some olive oil in a pan to medium heat and then searing the steak.  Cook the steak to 135 degrees (Medium rare)

Remove the steak from the heat and let it sit for 5 minutes (this allows the juice to set and helps maintain the flavor)

Cut the steak into bite size pieces by cutting lengthwise then across with the cuts about an inch apart.

To make the Bowl

Put a layer of rice on your plate or bowl

Add the steak

Sprinkle with a combination of shredded white cheddar and Monterrey jack cheese

Add lettuce

I didn’t have the right cheese in the house so I ended up using a mixture I had, that is why it’s yellow cheese in the picture, but trust me, I will make sure to use my shopping list at the bottom of this post to make sure I don’t forget the cheese again!

(That’s the end of mine, but you can top with anything else you would like….guacamole, pico, sour cream)

ENJOY!

To make it easier, here is a shopping list for this whole meal

  • 2 lbs Steak
  • Fresh Cilantro
  • 1 Jalapeno
  • 1 Red Onion
  • 3 Limes
  • 6 Roma Tomatoes
  • Basmati Rice
  • Fresh Garlic
  • Bag of White Tortilla Chips
  • Shredded White Cheddar Cheese
  • Shredded Monterey Jack Cheese
  • Lettuce

You will also need the following if you don’t already have at home

  • Kosher Salt (or sea salt)
  • Cumin
  • Olive Oil
  • Butter
  • Pepper
  • Crushed Red Pepper
  • (Vegetable Oil if substituting for the butter)
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Self employed and sick, not a good combination – HaliPawz

I have not been feeling well for over two weeks now.  While it may not be a big deal to some, when you are self employed, being sick can be a really bad thing.  This is the first time since I left my safe, secure job to take a chance on myself that I have been sick to the point it affected my work life multiple days.  As I was looking at my stats today on my site, the number of visitors to my page was down considerably, sadly, that is not the only area affected.

Let’s talk about what’s been going on first.  I’ve been nauseous almost every day.  It wasn’t the simple, “Ugh, I have a stomach ache” nauseous, but the first ten days of it was “Ugh, every time I move I feel like I’m going to throw up” nauseous.  In addition to that, I have been tired.  So tired I was taking two hour naps, waking up, then ready to nap again a few hours later.  Every time I opened up my laptop, I would start to fall asleep.  Not easy to sit and write when you couldn’t stay awake!  As long as I was up and moving, I could stay awake, but when I would sit down, I would start yawning, start drifting.  In addition to these two big ones, I would get headaches, off and on, but I had an eye exam and checked my blood pressure, so no evident reason for them.  I didn’t run a fever, so I knew it wasn’t the flu.  At first, I just figured I had picked up a virus and didn’t give it a lot of thought.

I was drained but tried to hide it from everyone.  I hate saying I don’t feel well.  I have a past of weird illnesses.  The running joke with family and friends was that, if I was going to get sick with a common illness, it was going to affect me a different way, not a “common” way.  I had the Epstein Barr Virus so bad, my doctor was considering sending it in to the Mayo clinic because my numbers just wouldn’t go down.  Even when I had appendicitis, I had to go through two surgeries, not one until they figured out what was going on.  It is NEVER normal with me so I try not to think about it.  I have been doing well, I’ve gone a few years without anything weird happening, so I didn’t want to think it was happening again.  Those I did tell asked the most common question for a female when she says nauseous and tired; Was I pregnant?  I said no, I couldn’t be, I chalked it up to just a bug.  By the third person asking me, I won’t lie, I began to wonder, could I be?  Everything based on dates, times, etc, said no, there is no way I was.  I use Glow app on my phone, not to get pregnant, but because my OBGYN had asked me to track some things about a year and a half ago on a paper chart.  I kept forgetting to fill it out and looked for an app that would let me track it.  It worked.  I kept it up.  As a sexually active female, it was also good because it tells the woman when she’s ovulating.  As I was not trying to get pregnant, it’s good to know when not to have sex.  I double checked the ovulation dates to when I was with someone and they didn’t line up so I was pretty sure that’s not the problem.

As the days moved to a week of feeling horrible, I began to second guess everything.  I started doing research.  WebMd is not your friend when you’re trying to figure out what is wrong with you and your symptoms match fifty different things; ok, maybe not fifty, but there were a lot of options.  Stress, umm, yes, I’m stressed, thyroid, possibly, except I matched some symptoms of hypo and some of hyper, pregnancy (I had about 4 symptoms so I had to consider it, even though I knew it wasn’t probable), the list went on and on for possibilities.  I was still convinced it was just a virus.   I finally broke down and took a pregnancy test at a friend’s prodding.  It came back negative.  Phew!  No longer a thought, until I read about dates and realized I probably tested too early.  No, I put pregnancy out of my mind and focused on trying to figure out what it was.

In the midst of all of this, I damaged some relationships.  I was tired.  I was mentally and physically exhausted and trying to hide it from almost everyone.  Stress was starting to creep in.  I have, in my past, allowed stress to cause me to lash out to some people I care about.  I had improved in this over the years, but, sometimes, when I feel attacked, I attack back.  It’s not healthy, I try to minimize it as much as I can, but, sadly, it happened.  I felt attacked by someone I genuinely cared about and I lashed back.  They didn’t know what was happening.  It didn’t get better.  As more days passed, I was getting worse.  The nauseousness was coming on more.  I was getting the dry heaves when I tried to eat.  My back would hurt when I walked.  I felt out of breath.  I felt so out of character.  I just wanted the feeling to pass.

Then I had a good day, I was only sick half the day.  I was so happy.  I had a small get together at my house planned the next day, so I kept it.  I knew we would be drinking.  One of my friends convinced me to take another test just to make sure since I was going to be drinking.  All was good, let the drinking commence.  Later in the day, I started spotting.  Thank goodness!  My period was starting so that ruled out pregnancy.  I felt even better about drinking.  I’ve never been one for getting the pain / affects of PMS but I thought, hey, maybe that’s what I had been experiencing.  For the most part that day, I stayed moving, so I didn’t get sleepy.  I only had a few moments of nauseousness, which I later chalked up to the alcohol consumption, because I noticed it more when I slowed down my drinking late in the day.  For the most part, I was convinced I was getting better.  It was short lived.  Within a day, everything was back.

The period was short lived as well.  All I did was spot for a few days.  It never became more than that.  Now I have that to be concerned about too!

Sadly, my emotions / feelings got the best of me and I severed a relationship I honestly don’t believe I would have severed had I been feeling better. I realized I was not getting better, so I decided it was time to go to the doctor. There is a doctor I like with a walk in clinic.  He’s affordable and had helped me in the past.  I drive to the office only to discover they were closed for a week.  I decide to go to another walk in clinic.  I looked up what services they offer and headed in.  Luckily there was no wait and I was seen immediately.  After talking to them about what was going on, I was told she didn’t think she could help me because I would probably need some tests they couldn’t do.  She rattled off a list of things it could possibly be, including the onset of early menopause.  Wait, what? That had NEVER crossed my mind and I wasn’t ready to think about that.  Ugh!  This was becoming a nightmare.  She gave me a list of places she recommended going to and sent me on my way.  I was frustrated and decided to wait a few days, see if it got better.  I looked up early menopause and after reading a few things, I honestly don’t think that is what it is, but it’s now in my head, so I have to think about it.

Strangely, the nauseousness seemed to be coming less, but the dry heaves started happening more.  I couldn’t explain it.  I feel like I am constantly holding my breath to keep from getting sick.  I woke up Monday (April 6th) with the decision to get this resolved, whatever it is!  I decided it was time to do whatever I could to try to feel better.  I had walked 5000 steps by 1pm.  I had spent time with the dogs.  I ran to Sam’s Club to get Zipper’s medicine and visited briefly with different associates there.  I was going to stay awake.  I was going to feel better.  I was back drinking just water and filled my water carafe and managed to drink at least 64 ounces throughout the day.

For some reason, I thought the doctor I had wanted to see the previous week was back in on the 6th so I ran back to the office.  Seeing the “closed” sign still up, I called and heard the message saying they were back in on the 9th, not the 6th.  Because I had decided to try to control the day and feel better, I chose to wait.  Maybe just having a different attitude would help since my attempt at finding some answers seemed to keep getting pushed away.  I even fired up the grill to make some dinner.  Pork steak, scalloped potatoes in the over.  Sadly, as they were cooking, I was in the bathroom with dry heaves.  The second time in the same day.  By 8pm, I was so tired, I could barely hold my eyes open.  I had told someone they could stop by anytime after 7pm because they needed my help with something.  I gave up.  By 8:30pm, I laid on the couch waiting for him to arrive.  I sent him a text telling him to call first because I was laying down.  I woke up at 4am!  So much for just laying down while I waited.

Nothing is resolved.   Here it is, Tuesday morning and as I type this, I have my water carafe next to me.  My stomach hurts.  I’m drained at 10am but forcing myself to write.  I’m back focusing on social media.  I’m back working.  I’m forcing myself to do what I need to do in spite of how I’m feeling.  I’ll go to the doctor on the 9th and try to get some answers.  I know there are some things I won’t be able to fix.  I won’t be able to go back and change time.  What I can do is focus on the fact I am self employed and I don’t have time to be sick.  Just saying it out loud seems to make it believable.  Let’s see what happens next!

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Why I will not be using SiteGround to host my WordPress Site! – HaliPawz

Today was a reminder I cannot trust reviews all the time.  I have learned reviews can be bought for a price and I am beginning to think SiteGround hosting positive reviews were bought and paid for.  Maybe not, maybe it is just my situation, but I can guarantee I will not be going back to them to host my WordPress Site.  I will continue to look for a host!

I have been pondering switching to a host so I have more control over my site than I currently do with WordPress.com.  Don’t get me wrong, it has been a great site to begin with and I do not have enough positive things to say about them for someone new to blogging.  The key is, I wanted to be able to add plugins, I wanted to be able to talk to advertisers, and with the free WordPress, it just isn’t an option.  I know they offer the WordAds once you have a certain amount of traffic, but let’s face it, if I have that much traffic, I don’t want to share the advertising dollars, I want them all for myself!

I read quite a few reviews on WordPress hosting sites and many of them pointed to SiteGround over BlueHost.  I spoke with their technical support the other day via live chat and they answered all of the questions I had.  Then today, before I signed up, I remembered a few additional questions, contacted the live chat again and asked those.  I was happy with the answers I had received and, I’ll admit, I asked two of the same questions I had asked previously and received the same answer.

The thing I was assured about was the transition from WordPress.com to SiteGround would be seamless.  I was informed by both technicians they had WordPress experts on their team and I would have no issues with it what so ever.  I understand speaking highly of your company, but when two of them basically tell me the same thing and their home page says the same thing, I begin to think there is some truth to it.

The $3.95 a month for the basic plan was a good starting price for me.  It wasn’t the cheapest I had found, but it was reasonable and with the reviews being so favorable, and the ability to grow in plans as my traffic grew, I figured it would be the best choice for me.

I go through and input all of my information.  There were four options, one of them was $3.95 a month plus $14.95 domain transfer charge, another was $3.95 for 12 months, then for 24 months, or for 36 months.  With the 12, 24, and 36 option, there was no charge for the domain transfer.   It had defaulted to the 12 month option and I looked at the cost, $84!?!? What?  How did it go from $3.95 a month to $84?  I looked at it closer and saw they had added additional options including Hacker block and more back ups.  When I read the information around it, it appeared they only backed up once a day and if I wanted it backed up more, I would have to pay.  Once a day wouldn’t be bad for me since I usually only added one or two blogs a day and I usually saved them to word first, so if something did disappear, I would be able to upload it again.  I did like the idea of the Hacker blocker but it was adding $12 to the order, not breaking it down per month, so I went back to the live chat yet again.

As I was talking to him, I learned I would have to pay the $12 for the year.  Breaking it down per month wasn’t an option.  I also learned the $3.95 a month was just a trial price and if I chose it, in 30 days, I would have to pay the regular price $9.95 a month, not the $3.95 like they advertised.  The only way to get that price was to select it for a minimum of 12 months.  Of course, I chose the year route, it just made sense!  Before I hit submit, I asked him once again how quickly it would take place and would there be downtime?  He assured me it would be seamless and no downtime.  He offered to stay in chat with me until I finished the purchase so he could help me.

I hit submit and then the questions began.  I had to ask the technician a few more questions to confirm I was doing it correctly.  I guess I had thought it would be easier, but the questions were a little confusing.  After finally navigating everything, I was told I would receive an email when it was complete.  I closed the chat and went back to doing other things online.

About 30 minutes later, I received and email with a “ticket number.”  When I clicked it, it took me to some technical jargon about my transfer being part of the WordPress network and they needed my permission to proceed.  My permission?  I thought I had given it to them when I clicked the options after purchase.  Confused yet again, I clicked “Live chat” and while I was waiting, I noticed one of the lines said the themes wouldn’t transfer.  Wait?  The themes wouldn’t transfer?  Hmmm, I loved my theme but more than that, a lot of the websites about growing your audience made it clear to not change your website too much in the first 90 days.  Ugh!  The chat technician came on and started talking in circles around my questions.  I finally stated I felt I had made a mistake and maybe I should just cancel the order.  She then tried explaining it to me once again, told me how to reply to the ticket, and sent me the link to look at the available themes so I could tell them what I wanted in the ticket so they would make it happen for me.  Looking through the theme, I didn’t love any of them.  I finally decided on one I liked the best of the least and sent it through on the ticket, hoping for the best.

About 15 – 20 minutes later, I had another email saying the transfer was successful but I would have to go in and change the DNS because they couldn’t do it.  Wait, what?  I had to change the DNS?  I don’t even know what the DNS is!  What happened to seamless?  Back to Live Chat yet again.  Sigh….for a seamless transaction, this is becoming a headache.  The technician appeared to know what he was doing.  He said he could fix it for me, I just had to give him my user name and password for WordPress and he’d take care of it.  He said he would send me an email confirmation when it was complete.  Finally!  Someone helpful.  I waited for the email.  While I was waiting, I went to preview the site on SiteGround with the new theme.  I HATED IT!!!!  It was so ugly, the font just sorta ran into the page and each other.  It was ugly.  Not to mention they had added a blog post I didn’t type.  They removed my HaliPawz title and replaced it with “Blog Post” so I was going to have to go in and fix everything.  OK, I can customize it when it’s all fixed.

Email came through, DNS change complete, I am good to go.  Yes!  Time to start customizing as best I could.  I toggled back and forth between my admin site and my home page to make sure all the changes were taking affect.  Nothing would take.  I tried changing the font color, it would show as changed in the admin page, but it wouldn’t change on the home page.  I went into the categories page to correct something on the home page and I noticed my permalinks were all messed up on my blogs.  The permalinks had Siteground in it and had a “~” in front of HaliPawz.  That didn’t look right!  I logged into twitter to pull up a tweet, clicked a link and sure enough, page not found popped up.  Are you kidding me?  I couldn’t go back and delete and change all of my links everywhere.  I was done!  I was beyond annoyed.  I clicked “Cancel” and said I wanted a full refund.  It, of course, took me back to live chat.  The technician assured me she could fix it easily, left for a few minutes, then came back and asked me to clear my cache.  I did and, of course, it canceled my chat session.  So now I knew the trick, if they keep cancelling the chat session, I couldn’t cancel!

I logged back in and tried a couple of links before I logged back in to SiteGround.  Nothing was working except the home page.  I tried cancelling AGAIN and was taken to chat.  She kept insisting it had been fixed, I kept explaining to her only the home page was working.  I logged into a different browser to try again and the link took me to the old version, not the new version, which, of course, I preferred, but I knew it wasn’t right.  She kept trying to show me screen shots of the home page but I kept saying the home page wasn’t the issue.  Finally I sent her a link from one of my tweets and she came back to say yes, she received the 404 site not found….but insisted she could fix it.  I lost it.  I just kept typing No No NO in the chat, over and over.  I took up the whole window saying I wanted to cancel and please just cancel.  Finally, after 23 minutes of my trying to cancel the SECOND time, she cancelled my order.

Going off on SiteGround support

Going off on SiteGround support

Now the fun begins though because the DNS change still had to occur.  I knew they weren’t going to help me with it.  Luckily I was on the phone with someone who had website experience in the past but he was not quick to help me now because he hated website technical problems.  He said it would cost me, to which I laughed and said, just go fix it.  He went in to look and said there was nothing wrong with the DNS and it pointed back to WordPress.  I didn’t understand how that could happen but thought, ok, maybe if they cancelled it, it goes back.

NO SUCH LUCK!  I went to my page and it said the site is being hosted by SiteGround but not available.  Ugh!  This is a nightmare.  After searching through many forum posts on WordPress, I finally found the solution, I think.  The problem is, it says it can take up to 72 hours to change.  It amazes me how quickly it works to switch out of WordPress but to try to go back to WordPress, it may take up to 72 hours.  During the time I spent typing this, I went back to look and I am still getting this image when I type my page:

So, it clearly was not fixed and my website is now down.  I went from wanting my own site to having no site!  So, something I started around 2pm has been a thorn in my side off and on all day.  It is now 11:30pm, I have a new blog to post, but no site to post it to!

So, when I am ready to try again, I will either find someone to help me with the transition or I will upgrade using the WordPress upgrade option, paying a little more, but making sure it is truly compatible with everything I currently have!

Wish me luck!

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Ringling Brothers Elephants Leaving the Big Top – HaliPawz

Have you been a fan of the Elephants at the circus?  Well you better hurry up and go see them, because they are being pulled from all of the Ringling Brother’s shows by 2018.

It appears they have had a lot of negativity on the use of the elephants in the show.  For some reason, people are ok with domesticated animals being part of a show, but not wild animals.  The shift is for more human acts, more dog acts, etc.

In addition to the loud protesters, cities have jumped on the bandwagon and said they do not want a circus with elephants.   My question would be, why?

Don’t get me wrong, I’m all for animals being treated well.  I don’t believe any animal should be abused.  IF, in fact, the problem is the animals are being abused, that should be what is addressed, not getting rid of them entirely.

Kids LOVE the elephants.  Elephants are majestic creatures and love to work.  It is obvious when you see them helping out in countries where they are not necessarily in captivity, but are still used similar to how horses and donkeys are used here in the United States.  I like watching the elephants perform.  Again, I am not saying I want animals to be abused, and I do not CONDONE animal abuse in any way.  All I’m saying is, why can’t we have the Lions and Tigers and Bears, Oh My….but with proper care and consideration for the animals?

Yes, it is enjoyable but it also builds awareness of the plight of so many animals.  If Ringling Brothers would keep the elephants and put so much of their profit back into trying to keep those that are in the wild safe, instead of so many being killed for their ivory, I think they would have a much better response then just getting rid of them completely.

Not only that, but they eat a lot.  If they aren’t performing, WHO is going to pay to keep them fed and alive?  They have a median life span of 17 years.  I just think sometime, people yell without thinking about the whole picture.  I wonder how many of those who are cheering over this decision don’t look back and remember fondly, their trip to the circus when they were children, complete with all the animals!

Let’s work to keep animals safe, both in the wild and in captivity.  Stop poachers.  Stop buying fur. Stop buying ivory.  That is the true tragedy!

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Relationship Happiness; Someone else’s fairy tales – HaliPawz

Little girls love reading fairy tales.  They love the ending where the prince whisks the princess away and they live happily ever after.  The End.

Growing up, I was not one of those girls.  I didn’t believe in them.  My analytical brain would break them down, point out the flaws, and chalk them up to ridiculousness.  My mom tells me I never cared for them; even before I was reading.  I don’t really remember because I was reading chapter books by kindergarten. Reading has always been something I loved to do, just not fairy tales.  I remember reading a huge book of stories my mom had from when she was a child. I loved it. It was filled with great stories about children, animals, etc.  I could accept talking animals but not fairy tales.  It probably explains all my issues today!

Science is something else I am comfortable with.  Science made sense. “If this, then that” mentality works for me.  It helped me for so many years in the optical industry. I could hear a problem and work through it to find a solution for the patient.  It was one of the reasons I was great at optics.  I believe my love for science and my dislike for fairy tales is the reason I never jumped on the “sci-fi” bandwagon.

As an adult, I still shied away from believing in “Happy Ever After.”  I learned through years of hurt, disappointments, and relationship failures I was better off helping others than thinking I would find happiness. I accepted the path.  I’m ok with it.  I’m happy with who I am.  This is not a “woe is me” blog. The ironic thing is, I am GREAT at helping others with relationships.  I always point out to my friends and acquaintances who come to me, “you know I suck at my own relationships, are you sure you want to ask me?” They still ask, I still answer, and, I’m almost always right.  I hate when it’s bad news I’m delivering to them because I WANT to be wrong, but I know I’m not. I remember one time, I discussed the direction a friend’s relationship was going to take almost step by step.  She thought I was crazy. I broke it down to days…”within 2-3 days, he’s going to do this or say that”…and I was correct every step I said,+/- a day or two.  Those odds are great when it’s good news and a happy relationship, not so good when I’m delivering bad news.

Please understand, I WANT my friends and family to have happy, healthy relationships. Just because I know it’s not meant for me doesn’t mean I don’t want it for others.  I love solving problems, I love making others happy. I will spend two hours on the internet scouring website after website looking for the perfect gift for someone I care about. I do it, not so they acknowledge how great the gift is, but because I would be so appreciative if someone did it for me.  To let someone know you cared enough to spend time THINKING about them, knowing enough about them, and then finding something they might not have even realized existed, is the best feeling.  I may come across to some as cold-hearted, one close friend even refers to me as “The Cold Hearted Assassin” but I honestly love making people laugh, smile, or just happy.  It makes me happy.

In my twenties, I was recovering from a difficult divorce which left me with huge trust issues.  The day I signed my divorce papers I learned so many things about my ex-husband; I didn’t even know who he was. I could not believe I shared a home and a life with a man I didn’t even know.  He had repeatedly lied to me and I was clueless.  Was I really so naïve? I learned to just date.  Honestly, dating for me was almost like alcohol to an alcoholic.  It was always “one more” and I didn’t care.  I was on a path filled with hurt but I wasn’t willing to venture off the path because every time I did, it was met with someone else lying to me.

I started working at Sam’s Club in 2001 and switched focuses.  I was obsessed with moving up the company ladder.  I didn’t give up dating but it did slow down.  I even met someone I liked.  Thought there was a possibility of a real future.  I accepted a promotion which, sadly, would take me away from my family, but I accepted because he was going to move with me, except he didn’t.  It was one excuse after another, but bottom line, I didn’t care about the excuses, I just knew I was alone in a city I knew no one, and it was rough.  My Happily Ever After thwarted again.

I knew I wasn’t going to make the same mistakes though.  I wasn’t going to have a flavor of the week.  I was too busy, for one, and I wanted a more meaningful, deeper connection.  Sadly, I learned, Kansas City is NOT the city to be single in.  The number of men I met who would lie to your face, put you at the bottom of their priorities, or would just want to sleep with you but not date was astounding! Don’t get me wrong, I’d have relationships here and there, but they always ended, usually badly.

I started to see a pattern. Patterns are good for me.  My analytical brain loves to break down patterns, determine where the hiccup was, and try to establish a new pattern.  Some of the patterns became funny to me.  For example, there were a couple of guys who lingered and I don’t know why.  I didn’t leave the door open, I would say we were through, but it was almost like they had a sensor and whenever I had met someone and thought, hey, this might work, I would get a text or call from them.  I would honestly just chuckle about it. They NEVER seemed to understand, even when I would tell them I’m dating someone and I’m happy.  They would disappear and resurface months later. One in particular, I could almost use a text from him as a confirmation I had met someone new.   Maybe he secretly has my phone tapped.  Who knows? It is funny to me.

I say all this because I understand patterns. I would meet men who were unavailable and have some of the best friendships with them.  Perhaps it was because they were unavailable, I let my walls down and let them get to know the real me.  The hard part is, sometimes they would fall for me.  They loved my personality, they loved my passion for life.  I began to believe I was cursed.  Men I couldn’t have loved me, but I couldn’t find a man I could love.

I gave up.  I accepted the fact I was here to help.  I was here to love, but only as someone who loves others, not to be in love.  I was here to write about my pain, my problems, so others would know it isn’t always Happily Ever After and its ok! You can STILL be HAPPY.  Don’t let a relationship status define your happiness.

The irony of this whole blog is the timing.  I started this weeks ago after discussing with a friend my happiness and happy ever after philosophies.  But I just couldn’t finish it.  I got as far as the first two paragraphs and would stop and rewrite.

Then I did something I never do.  I prayed. As a Christian, I believe in God, or a higher spirit, I just don’t really believe in organized religion.  When I pray, I don’t ask for anything for myself unless it’s wisdom or guidance. I may pray for the right words for someone.  I just don’t pray for things to make myself happy.  This time I did. I figured, it can’t hurt.  Within two days, I met someone.  I felt drawn to him, to help him. Conversations escalated quickly and I knew I could help him but I was disappointed.  Here was someone falling for me but I wasn’t falling for him. Ok God, message heard loud and clear.  I’m only here to help.  To fix problems.  I was disappointed but it was ok.

God has a sense of humor, I honestly believe He does.  I think he toys with those of us he knows can handle it just to break up the drudgery of dealing with those who always need Him.  The Bible says we are created in the likeness of Him, well look at brother / sister dynamics.  Look at close cousins.   The teasing / picking on each other has to come from somewhere.

God loves to mess with me, I’m convinced.  A couple of days after meeting the one I felt needed help, I met the most amazing man.  He was the type you say, dang, I’d marry him tomorrow if he asked me, knowing deep down, he wouldn’t, because stuff like that only happens in fairy tales and Hallmark movies.  My point is, it crossed my mind.  I laughed it off.  Silly girl thoughts.

Only I couldn’t ignore it like I had before.  I couldn’t just blow it off. I am careful about emotions. I don’t like them, except happiness.  I don’t trust love because I bomb at love.  I hate being hurt because it makes me feel weak and a little sad because I end up running when I’m hurt.  I hate being sad because no one ever wants to be sad.  So happiness is the only emotion I try to allow myself.

Back to patterns and God’s sense of humor.  I have really liked a lot of people, but to say I have loved a lot? No.  I don’t like love.  I don’t trust it.  Anytime I think it could be a possibility, I reassess it or, in almost every case, the minute I EVEN think it, or mention it to someone, within 48 hours, something happens and it explodes.  Trust me, it’s not me sabotaging it, sometimes I don’t even do or say anything to the person and something happens.  I just chalk it up to God getting the person out of my life for me.

With everything I have shared, it may come as a surprise to you, and to me, when something happened just recently, something so sweet and touching, my heart melted and did a flip-flop.  Wait, what? No. Feelings don’t happen that fast for me.  Ugh! I wasn’t ready for it.

I know, this is where you are saying, Aww …yay! Happily Ever After DID happen for her!

I was processing everything and made a phone call to someone who knows me all too well.  My exact words to her were, “I don’t do love” to which she laughed at me then listened to my story.  After I finished, I said, it doesn’t matter now, because it will explode within 48 hours because I acknowledged feelings. She made me assure her I wouldn’t sabotage anything and just see what happened. I promised her.  I knew it wouldn’t matter.  I am not meant for relationship happiness.  I have accepted it long ago, the only difference this time is I wasn’t looking for it.  I had pretty much given up, so I hadn’t prepared myself.

So what happened you wonder? Sadly, the 48 hours passed.  The explosion occurred. It’s ok.  Does it make me sad? Yes, a little, because it affects one of my deepest desires.  Does it hurt? Yes, of course.  I think the worst part is my ability to feel the shift in the other person’s feelings.  It has always been something I have been gifted with, but when it’s directed at me, it is more painful.

At the end of the day, I will survive.  I will do what I always do.  I will strive to be the best person I can be.  I will strive to do the best job I can do.  I will continue to write and share my life, my feelings, and my journey.

I will love.

The End

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Me, Randomocity, and waxing

I know everyone blogs for different reasons.  For me, I like to share, inform, entertain, and really just discuss my view on so many subjects.

The nice thing is, I have also teamed up with a great group of guys that are all about sports, comics, geek culture, movies, comedy, humor you name it, we talk about it, hence the name, Randomocity Podcast Network.  It may contain graphic language from time to time.

I say this to let you know, if when you are reading my blogs, they might not be of interest to you but some of the other topics I mentioned are, then join us over there. If you love my blogs and love the above mentioned topics, visit us over there!  Bottom line, just visit us, check us out.

The logo is an adorable Bulldog and yes, everyone on the team are animal lovers.  Visit the site, check out the “cast”, get to know us!

Here is all of the information.

Website  RandomocityPodcast.com  Be sure to check out both of the podcasts, read the blogs over there, and be sure keep your eyes open for new podcasts as we will be adding some more soon!

Facebook Page:  Facebook.com/RandomocityPodcast  We actually have a contest going on right now where, if we get to 1000 NEW likes (as of this post, still need 950) on Facebook AND Twitter, then they guys have to go get waxed, including the owner, Frank “Beefcake” Munroe has to get a Male Brazilian or Manzilian if you will!  If you’re a woman reading this right now, you KNOW how funny it would be to have a man have to experience it.  Any help my WordPress friends can give me to making this happen, I will greatly appreciate it.

Twitter.com/RandomocityPod

Of course, you can also follow me on Facebook.com/HaliPawz or Twitter.com/HaliPawz

Help me get the hair off these men’s bodies!