Category Archives: Every Day Life

This is about my every day life and the craziness around it. Be it good, bad, or indifferent, I wouldn’t want it any other way!

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When arrogance and a self serving attitude steal moments from others.

I really don’t like to give Kanye West more attention than he is already getting, because, let’s face it, he doesn’t need any more attention, but I read yet another story about him tonight and I have to share my thoughts.

First, I want to go on record of saying I am an HUGE fan of the Kardashians.  I’m not here to dispute the pros and cons of the family.  I admire their family togetherness, being from a large family myself, I understand how they can be mad at each other one minute and then band together the next minute when one of them is going through something.  Love them or hate them, I think it is clear, to anyone who has watched more than one episode, they are truly a family first and foremost.

Kanye West is not a Kardashian.  He married a Kardashian.  Just because he married one doesn’t mean I automatically have to like him.  I’m not a huge fan of Kim’s anyway, so it’s easy to not like him.

Here is my issue.  I really do not like self-absorbed people.  I know it is easy to sometimes get so caught up in our own feelings and life that anyone of us can come across as self-centered, self-absorbed from time to time, but he takes it to a level I cannot even comprehend.

Tonight the news is all abuzz about him tweeting an apology to Beck.  Isn’t that nice?  He tweeted an apology.  So big of him.  Are you kidding me?  So he tweets an apology and everything is all good and happy with the world again?  Does he truly think that is all it takes?

Let’s look back to the VMAs back in 2009.  Taylor Swift was announced as a winner for best female video.  It was clear she was truly honored and excited to win this award.  Here was a young artist making her move from country to pop, accepting an award she was EXCITED about and out comes Kanye West, interrupting her acceptance speech with bad English “Imma let you finish” and then went on to say Beyoncé had the best video of all time.  How dare he?  How dare he believe he had the RIGHT and the AUTHORITY to take away something so precious to Taylor Swift just because he felt she should not have won?  Who does he think he is? Moments are to be treasured, and he stomped on Taylor Swift’s moment.  Yes, she wins awards, yes she wins lots of awards, but it doesn’t matter.  What mattered on that day back in 2009 was her getting to say thank you and he interrupted it.  He hands the microphone back to her and walks off.  She is silent.  What is she supposed to say?  What did he THINK she would say?    Her moment is dashed by a pompous, arrogant jerk.  Beyoncé tried to make it better by giving Taylor some time when she was given an award, which was sweet, but doesn’t give a moment back. What I find ironic is he takes to his blog shortly after “apologizing” to her in the most in sincerest way possible.  He says he is sorry, then goes on to say Beyoncé’s video was the best of the decade!  Are you kidding me?  How do you call that an apology?  It wasn’t.  It was just a way to save face.  And to bring his mother into it, saying she would have corrected him.  He should have apologized for the horrible apology, but that wouldn’t be sincere either, so why does he even bother to waste his breath?

Kanye West has been a jerk prior to this event, in Europe at an MTV awards event.  Clearly he is a poor loser, even when the loss isn’t directly related to him.

Fast forward to this year.  The Grammys…..West, once again, thinking he is better than EVERYONE else in the room, interrupts Becks Acceptance speech for Album of the Year.  West then plays it off like he’s just joking and walks back off the stage.  Now, before we even talk about what happened in post interviews, let’s talk about this moment.  It was BECK’S MOMENT, not Kanye West’s.  Kanye West has no respect for anyone but himself.  You don’t take away someone’s moment with the thought, “Oh, I can just apologize later and make it better”.  To have such a level of disrespect for others and such a high sense of self is truly disgusting.

Beck was a perfect gentleman and handled it gracefully, but he should not have been put in the position in the first place.

In the post-show interviews, West went on to, surprise surprise, talk about Beyoncé again, saying she should have won.

I just know that the Grammys, if they want real artists to keep coming back, they need to stop playing with us. We ain’t gonna play with them no more. And Beck needs to respect artistry and he should’ve given his award to Beyoncé.

I find it interesting he uses the word respect yet has no idea what the word means.  What is his love affair with Beyoncé?  If I was Jay Z (Beyoncé’s husband) I would be so mad.  It is clear West has an obsession with Beyoncé.  Then the truth comes out he hadn’t even HEARD the album by Beck.  So, he had nothing to compare it to, yet felt he could open his mouth?  Why do they let this man continue to come to award shows?   In my opinion, they should ban him for a whole year from all of the awards and tell him when he grows up and can be respectful of others, he’ll be allowed to attend the shows again.

Of course, now it’s coming out he’s apologizing.  He’s stating he’s going to record with Taylor Swift.  He’s saying how great of an artist Beck is, etc.  All this is saying is he realizes he was, yet again, a disrespectful jerk and has to play nice to pretend he really cares about others.  At some point, when are people going to realize he’s just a jerk?  He’s not going to change.  He’ll act out like a child, then apologize when a parent tells him to, until he does it again.  It also shows how much of an adult Taylor Swift is, trying to put the past behind them and move on.

Of course, West doesn’t stop his attacks on just other artists.   He thinks so highly of himself to believe he has the RIGHT to MAKE concert goers stand up when he commands them to.  At a concert in Australia in 2014, he is filmed saying everyone has to stand up unless they are handicapped.  Then, when two people don’t stand up, he doesn’t just keep going, oh no, he has to send his security team to make sure they were, indeed, handicapped.  News Flash jerk….not every disability is visible!   How about you don’t draw attention to people who probably have unwanted attention drawn on them every day anyway?  Oh that’s right, he doesn’t care about other people’s feelings, only his own.  It was sweet of his wife to stand by her man saying that he qualified who didn’t have to stand up.   Really???  Come on!  If someone wants to pay unbelievable amounts of money to see a pompous jerk, then they have the right to stay seated if they want to.  As much as he want’s people to believe, he isn’t a god.  He doesn’t control other humans.

We have to stop rewarding bad behavior people!   We have to stop allowing these celebrities set the tone for disrespect. The question is WHY do we keep saying it’s ok?  Why do we shrug off the bad behavior when it so blatantly steals another person’s moment(s).

We need to start focusing on respect and truly understanding what the word means, then start showing it as an example, not an exception.

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Why are all the good ones taken? – HaliPawz

Well, I finally met the man of my dreams, only to find out he already has a woman! Oh well, it happens sometimes! Oh, did I mention, he’s fictional?

Hot, Rich, and Fictional; Two out of three isn’t bad is it?

Life is interesting sometimes.  One minute you are living your life, fitting eyeglasses, talking to someone about contacts, the next minute you are looking up a comic book reference at 4:30am. Wait a minute….WHAT????

No, I am not losing my mind, at least not today, I hope. I’ll skip all the boring stuff and fast forward to today.  As a member of Randomocity, I realize I am clueless about life’s important things, you know, comic books, superheroes, Star Wars, etc. I sent Frank, aka Beefcake, aka my boss a text the other day confirming “May The Force Be With You” and “Light Sabers” are both, indeed, from Star Wars. Yes, I sent it.  Yes, I’m sure he just shook his head. More than once. I’m sure as he reads this, he will be.  I will be teased about it AGAIN.  It’s OK, I know they are just teasing me in fun and it is funny how clueless I am sometimes when it comes to comics.

I’m an intelligent woman by most standards; high IQ, well spoken.  I have a Think Geek account which I use.  I have always had a love of math and science.  All of that goes out the window because I don’t know my superheroes and villains!  I am now the silly blond chick around the guys.  I think they secretly wonder why they added me! They entertain the listeners, I entertain them with my lack of knowledge of the important [to them] stuff; it’s a win win!

As I was perusing social media, I came across an @UberFacts tweet that caught my attention.

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I recognized Marvel, I recognized DC Comics….who the heck is Black Panther? How is he the richest? Of course, I read the re-tweets and the replies and I see quite a few saying Bat Man / Bruce Wayne is.  Hmm, I love a good debate, even when I am not familiar about both parties involved!

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Thank you comicvine.com for the perfect picture to go with my story!

I decide to dig a little deeper about this debate.  If there is nothing I have not learned already, BEFORE I share something “Comic” related, I need to do my research or I will be teased mercilessly!  It’s borderline abuse I tell you! Ok, maybe not, but my investigative mind wants to know more.  I find an interesting article about the Black Panther character.  He owns his own country which has the world’s only deposit of the most precious metal: Vibranium. He’s rich. $500B rich.  Richer than Bruce Wayne, who, according to Forbes is only worth $9.2B (he went up $3B in one year).

This led me to my next question; why hasn’t Black Panther made the Forbes list if he’s worth more than all of the other ones listed?  You would think $500B would be enough to get noticed.

I’m sure there are a lot of explanations and I’m curios what my Randomocity counterparts will have to say about it, but since it is only 5:30am, I decided to share my story rather than wait for their answers.

Of course, the only question I REALLY should be asking myself is….why am I researching fictional character’s net worth at any time of the day and how do I meet the Black Panther because, well, he’s hot AND rich!

http://www.randomocitypodcast.com/#!Hot-Rich-and-Fictional-Two-out-of-three-isnt-bad-is-it/c1oqh/1C5CBAAD-1EED-4FAF-A97C-C30CF055DC3B

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Follow your dreams, when you hit a fork, don’t be afraid to explore

Sometimes moments happen to us that we don’t always understand but we need to embrace them, cherish them, and grow as a person from them.  I stepped away from my safe job about a year ago to take a chance on myself.  I had three goals:  Start my own business, Finish my book(s), and Blog my personal ideas and thoughts, separate from the business writing.  Of course, the overall goal is to be successful at all of it.

I made mistakes when I first started out.  I thought it was all about making a quick dollar and I forgot about where my passion lied within the network of the business.  Then fear set in.  Fear I had made a mistake.  Fear I wouldn’t be successful.  Almost to the point where I didn’t even want to continue with my business endeavors.

Then it all started kicking in.  I needed to go back to the root of WHY I wanted to start the business.  I needed to be reminded WHY I was writing my book(s), I needed to remember WHY I wanted to share my voice with whomever would read my blogs.  I made changes.  I put the focus where it needed to be.

Almost a year later, here is where I am.  My business concept has taken a completely different turn in more ways than one.  I love to make people laugh, I love to make people think, I love to help people.  How do I turn that all into something successful?  I don’t know yet.  What I do know is it is important to look at the paths you go down, the paths you cross and not let uncertainty or fear cause you to miss out on an amazing opportunity.

I’m not where I want to be yet fiscally with my business.  Surprisingly, my personal writing has been getting more attention then I thought it would and I have been told I have a gift to write, so I decided to venture out and see if I could supplement my income with my writing.  I stumbled upon an intern position for Randomocity Podcast Network.  Intern position at my age?  No thank you.  I moved on.  Wait, it was for a podcast.  Let me go back and read it again.  I think I read the job description about five or six times.  Something kept telling me to apply.  I argued with myself; it’s an INTERN position!  I needed something to SUPPLEMENT my income, not take more time away.

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I applied with the thought, I’ll keep looking for something else, but it doesn’t hurt to see what they have to say.  I heard back and they liked my writing.  Yay!  I submitted something else for them, which I discussed in the blog “Deflated Balls in your Face…”  and set up the interview.  I wasn’t sure why I was going.  Looking at their social media interaction, they didn’t have a strong impact.  I kept saying it was a good way to get my writing and name out there, but if their social media numbers were any indication, was it really going to help me?  Yes, it was a podcast and for some reason, I had been intrigued by the concept for a while now.  The only problem was, every indication from them was they really just wanted me as a blogger, not on the podcast.  I was disappointed about it, but thought, I’m in it this far, just go and see what they have to say.

I can honestly say it was the best interview I have ever been on.  I was so excited!  Not only was I going to get to write for them, but they were also going to consider me for the podcast!  There was something about this business I was drawn to from the beginning and the excitement of being involved wasn’t going away, it was only getting stronger.  Not to mention the fact their social media numbers did not, in any way, reflect their listener base, which made me extremely happy.

I made a huge mistake and listened to a bunch of podcasts over the course of a few days.  No, it wasn’t a mistake!  I’m joking about that, but it was a mistake in the sense panic set in.  I’m not this funny.  These guys are hilarious!  I could not stop laughing from the minute they started to the minute they ended.  What was I getting myself into?  I love to laugh, yes, I make others laugh from time to time, but I had also been reminded over the years of how “unfunny” I was from people I had known.  I think the thing I was truly drawn to with the podcasts is, from time to time, they would discuss something I had no interest in or no knowledge of, but I would still listen, I would still laugh, and yes, at times, I would be curious about what they were discussing.  When anyone can get my attention about a subject I have no interest in, I’m sold!  They would do it time and time again AND I was going to be a part of it.  ARE YOU KIDDING ME?  I’m NOT funny!  I was devastated.  Then, through conversation with the owner, he reminded me I might not make it into the podcast.  They had to test me on the mic to see how I did.  My heart sank.  I don’t know how to explain it, but I felt like my excited emotional moment came crashing to a harsh stop.  I already knew I wasn’t funny.  They would do the test with me and discover it for them themselves and my heart would be broken.  I considered saving myself, and them, the trouble, and just telling them it wasn’t for me. I couldn’t.  I REALLY wanted this.  I really felt drawn to this company.  No matter how many times I tried to convince myself why I shouldn’t, my heart won.  I felt led to this and I was going to take a chance on myself!

I was a bundle of nerves the first day I went to record.  I had so much nervous energy, I swept and mopped my floors, I baked cookies, I did laundry.  Looking at the cookies cooling, I thought, “hey, why not take some to them?” I sure didn’t want them all in my house to eat.  I’m trying to lose weight, not gain!  I got dressed, packed up some cookies, and headed out the door.

Within minutes, I was at ease.  While I didn’t get to meet the whole team at once, it was clear I was in a comfortable setting. The guys appreciated the cookies, score one for the new girl! Of course, now I’m thinking I will have to bake often because they are going to expect more cookies, but I’m ok with it.  The little voice in the back of my mind kept telling me, “You might still suck on mic, don’t get too excited” and “You aren’t funny!” but I refused to listen.  We hit a few snags getting started, which you will hear about in the podcast, but it was all handled with fun and laughter.

Laughter.  Laughter is something you can never get enough of and it is something I do non stop when I am around these guys.  I also realized when you are around people who truly appreciate you for you, who genuinely have a gift of comedy, and are just overall great people, it is easy to be funny around them.  Yes, I am funny when I am with them!  What???  I get to be myself and help make others laugh? Am I dreaming?

I have since met all three guys.  I know I am the luckiest woman right now.  I have an opportunity to work with some of the most intelligent, funny,  down to earth guys, you could ever meet; doing something I truly enjoy.  All because I kept fear away and took a chance on something I wanted to try.

I am blessed.

The show IS so good, it ended up being split into two parts. Please take some time and listen.  I am sure you won’t regret it.  As you can hear from my laughter, I laughed throughout the whole thing and then laughed again when I listened to it.  I really need to work on laughing quieter, I know!

Randomocity #15 The VD Special Volume 1

Randomocity #15.2 The VD Special Episode 2  

Of course, after you listen to it, you will understand the following, but I have to make sure to put this social media plug in as well.

If you are on Facebook, please LIKE them at Facebook.com/RandomocityPodcast

On Twitter, Follow them @RadomocityPod

On Instagram: RandomocityPodcastNetwork

The quicker their count gets to 1000, the quicker you all get to hear sound bites of men screeming in pain!  Who doesn’t want that?

Follow your dreams, invest in yourself, believe in yourself!  There is no limit when you are your own cheerleader!

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Love for Love and no one else-HaliPawz

Love is a powerful emotion and it’s important to remember to love for love, not for any other reason.

I remember when I was in 7th or 8th grade, I liked a guy.  I think his name was Ted if I remember correctly.  He was sweet.  He was a little dorky like me.  We could talk easily.  Ted finally asked me to go “steady”.  Going steady back then might not seem like a big deal by today’s standards, it was pretty tame.  You might hold hands.  You might eat lunch together.  You might kiss but the intermediate schoolgirl in me probably wouldn’t have gotten much further.  I was so excited.  I was going steady with the boy I liked.  Life was good.

For about an hour.

Like most girls, I went and told my friends.  I knew they would be excited with me.  They should have been.  Interestingly enough, they weren’t mean to me, but they WERE mean ABOUT Ted.  Girls can be rough.  They couldn’t understand why I would want to go out with him.  He’s soooooo weird (spoken in true grade school voice).  Sadly, they convinced me I shouldn’t WANT to go steady with him.  My going steady lasted the whole some of three hours and I lost  hurt a friend.  Something I regret until this day.  I don’t even know what happened to him, I hope he’s happy.  I hope he’s successful.  He’s probably some rich, intelligent millionaire!

Things happened throughout my school years that kept me from WANTING to date.  It would seem like anytime I met someone who made me happy, someone else would step in and say something and mess it up.  I would watch my friends go in and out of relationships, I would see them lose a male friend because their new “boyfriend” didn’t want them hanging out with another guy.  I decided dating wasn’t worth the headache.  I was happier being “one of the guys” than I was dating a guy.  Don’t get me wrong, it wasn’t like I was turning down a lot of offers.  I was pretty shy.  I hid it well, so well most people don’t realize I can be shy even today.  The ironic thing is, all these years later and I’m still more comfortable hanging out with men than most women.

Fast forward to 10th grade.  A friend of mine had a cute cousin.  He asked me out.  I WANTED to say yes, but again, someone else’s opinion affected my decision.  This time it was a respect thing.  This young man happened to be black.  My dad wasn’t racist.  He was older and felt people should date within their race.  It wasn’t a black and white thing, it was ANY race.  He felt it was better for the children.  Perhaps back then there was some truth to it.  It was easy for me to say, “I’m flattered but out of respect for my parents, as long as I live under their roof, I won’t go against them.”  Looking back, I don’t regret it, because I still feel like family is the most important people in our lives and sometimes you have to do something you might not want to out of respect.

I went on to date and marry the man who was to become my husband, then ex husband.  I don’t want to dwell on him because we should have never married in the first place.  He showed me love by showering me with gifts and attention.  He was a show boat.  He wanted everyone to look at him and say how lucky I was to be with him.  Honestly, I didn’t even like who I was when I was with him.  We divorced and I was single again.

I was hurting after my divorce.  I refused to show my family how hurt I was, I felt like I was a failure.  I had picked the wrong guy…..again.  This time with no outside influences, just the opposite really.  Everyone loved him.  Loved him for me.

I dated, a LOT, following my divorce.  I don’t even know if dating is the right word, because sometimes I couldn’t even remember the name of the guy I was at dinner with.  He didn’t matter to me.  I didn’t want to be alone, I didn’t want to be single, but I didn’t trust myself to get invested emotionally with anyone.

Interestingly, every guy I dated after my divorce was black.  It wasn’t a defiant thing, it was an attraction thing. (To set the record straight, by this time, my dad had changed his opinion somewhat about interracial dating)  One day my ex (he was my boyfriend at the time) said to me, “You know, if we every break up, you’ll never date another white man, you just aren’t attracted to us”  and he was right.  I wasn’t attracted to HIM.  I loved him but not the way a woman should love a man, he started out as a friend and figured out how to make me love him so he could have the ideal world.  But remember, he was PERFECT for me, according to everyone else.

I was fortunate to date some great men over the years.  I never let them close to me emotionally because I didn’t want to get hurt, but I can still say they were great men.

What I find strange about our society is the way we judge one another’s relationships and compare the couple in terms of society attraction.  I have always been overweight. I don’t hide it.  I don’t make excuses for it.  I work out, I lose weight, I gain weight.  I won’t say I yo-yo because it can be over years for the up and down to take place.  Interestingly enough, I was attracted to athletes, especially those with the linebacker build.  If I dated someone society viewed as “hot” people would wonder why he was with me.  For some reason, our society accepts “hot” women dating overweight guys with no problem, but they do not want to accept a “hot” guy dating an overweight woman. Another example of things wrong with our society.

I didn’t let this bother me.  If I was with the “hot” guy, I was just happy because I had the hot guy. Oddly enough, sometimes the hot guy was with me for my personality but I couldn’t stand his!  I would be bored.  My mind wasn’t stimulated so my heart couldn’t be. I fell in and out of relationships so fast back then, my family started calling them the flavor of the week.  I didn’t like the reputation or the connotation, but I couldn’t find what I was looking for.

Every now and then, a guy would get me to calm down.  I would actually put in an effort to have a relationship.  The only problem was, again, they would be approved by my family or friends, or both, but they wouldn’t be approved by me.  Not always through any fault of my own.  Sometimes they were just bad boyfriends.

I moved out of Michigan and when the person I thought was going to move with me couldn’t at the last-minute, I decided to restructure my life.  I didn’t want to go back to the “flavor of the week” mentality but I also didn’t want to settle for someone who treated me poorly.  How do you find the balance?

I didn’t.  I was lonely here.  No family, no friends, travelling for work all the time.  I’m shy.  I’m an introvert but keep it hidden.  I fell for the handsome guy that could spin words so well I believed we were going to be together forever.  I had a good job, was alone down here, and I let him take advantage of my loneliness.  Not once in four years with him did he EVER pay for a meal.  We would go on vacation, he wouldn’t pay for a thing.  He would constantly tell me how much I would have to change in order for him to move from love to something permanent.  I convinced myself I believed in what he was doing and the best way to help him was to support him however I needed to.  He was cute, I liked being with him but more than that, I didn’t know anyone else here in Kansas City, so I put up with way more than I should have.  The best thing to ever happen to me was cutting ties with him.

I stopped travelling for work.  I started making friends.  REAL friends.  The funny thing about having friends is, they have opinions and their opinions mattered more than I wanted to admit sometimes.  If I found a guy cute and they didn’t, I would wonder if I REALLY thought he was cute.   If I went out with a guy who was average by society standards, but made me laugh, made me happy, I felt I had to justify why I went out with him.  If one of my female friends even wrinkled their nose a little, or said, “eh, he’s ok” I would defend WHY I liked him.

As a woman, I was just as guilty.  If my friends would start dating someone and I didn’t find him attractive, I would do the same thing.  I would make a face, and then I would hear a reason why she was dating him.  I think it would be great if we could all just be happy for our friends and enjoy the journey.

As I have gotten older, I have learned the “perfect man” isn’t any one particular age, particular height, particular race.  The perfect man for me doesn’t have to be approved by any of my friends because they aren’t feeling what I’m feeling.  I have also learned he doesn’t have to match my past preferences.  He does have to match my present preferences, but those preferences are so different from before.  I’ve also learned to be strong for myself.  I don’t date just to date.  I tell the man goodbye when I see he isn’t the one for me.

Over the last few years, I have also learned attraction isn’t about perfection.  Attraction, true attraction, comes from the heart.  It doesn’t have to come with your friends approval of attraction because.  I find a smile sexy.  I find eyes that look at me like I am the most important person to them a turn on.  I find the fact I WANT to be around them longer than an hour or two heart melting.

I have also learned to value myself.  I learned not to wait with the hope something will get better.  If it starts out poorly, it isn’t going to get better.  Some men have the ability to spin words until you start feeling like you are the crazy one.  Don’t fall for it.  You know it will be the same words tomorrow from him.  If he gives you a list of things to change about yourself, start with the most important one, changing the status of your relationship.

Love is happiness.  Love yourself first.  If love doesn’t happen for you today or tomorrow, it’s ok.  Embrace who you are today.  If you are in a relationship and you feel devalued, re-evaluate the relationship.  Life is too short.

Most of all, don’t let anyone mess up your “steady” moments with a nose wrinkle or an unkind word.  Follow your heart, YOUR heart, and when you meet the one who steals your heart, you will find him the most handsome man you have ever met, and you won’t even WANT to justify why because it’ll be obvious; obvious to you, to him, and to the world.

Love love.

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Spankings, Songs, and Star Wars; 50 Shades of Laughter-HaliPawz

With all the excitement buzzing around 50 Shades of Gray, when a friend invited me to see 50 Shades! The Musical Parody, I decided to go. I love musicals and I love comedy, add the fact it was about 50 Shades, I knew it was going to be interesting.

When I was told it was going to be at the Kansas City Starlight Theater, I was surprised. The theater is an outdoor venue and it was February. Call me crazy, but I didn’t think it would be too much fun being bundled up in layers, watching a play outside. I was informed they also have an indoor theater and it was in there. I was excited. An outdoor theater with an indoor theater, the former theater person in me was intrigued.

We were able to get tickets for the VIP experience, which included free valet parking, an original cast album, premium seats, and a meet and greet with the cast after the show.

KC Starlight had a pre-show cocktail and appetizer event. We were given one free drink ticket with our VIP tickets when we arrived. The room for the event was decorated in such a fun manner. They had a 50 Shades! The Musical Parody screen up for pictures, the drinks were strong, and the music playing was great. I have to commend Starlight for how engaging the atmosphere was before you even entered the actual theater. It felt like fun was all around you. The music was well-chosen. Everyone was laughing and having a good time in the room.

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We went into the theater and I fell in love! It appeared to be a rehearsal type stage with the chairs all around it. Very intimate feel. It reminded me a little of my high school drama club days. We were in the third row center so I knew we would have a great viewing of the show. I could not wait for it to begin. They announced this was the first time Starlight had ever had a production like this in the indoor stage. It was definitely a WIN! I hope they continue to do them.

Within a few minutes of the show starting, two gorgeous men with no shirts on came out onto the stage…. To finish reading, read my blog at Randomocitypodcast.com

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Protect the SHARE button; keep the hate bandwagon in the station-HaliPawz

I should be asleep right now. I fell asleep downstairs watching tv, woke up around 2:30am, headed up to bed with the thought I would listen to the latest Randomocity podcast and then go to bed. These guys crack me up and I am so excited about getting the opportunity to work with them. That’s a story for later!

I couldn’t sleep. My brain is racing. So many things happening right now. I go where everyone who can’t sleep goes; social media. Amongst the latest YouTube mash-ups, the puppy memes, and friend updates, I come across the following picture

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with the poster encouraging others to stop supporting the brand.

My first thought was something doesn’t seem right about it. The wording in the article was off. Michael Kors is a business man. I am in no way saying a business man cannot be racist, but the actual wording did not seem legit. I am not naive to the fact racism exists. I’m not a Michael Kors fan per se but if he was truly, openly, racist, I would be an advocate of sharing the information with everyone I know so they had the knowledge to do with it what they chose. On the flip side, I hate a business being boycotted or deemed racist due to the rapid “social media hate spread” that exists in our world today.

My investigative mind wasn’t going to stop until I dug into this. So much for my light, happy, puppy pic sharing mood…I needed to know. Within 30 seconds, I had my confirmation. It was fake. In my defense, if it had been a link on the post I saw, I would have known quicker, but since it was just a picture, I had to dig further. The article was written on a site where they have the disclaimer “all of the articles published on the site are “complete fiction.” Question answered. I felt obliged to go and post in the comments, knowing it doesn’t always change opinions. Once it’s out there and spread throughout social media, it will be believed by many as fact. The damage is done. Will it affect Michael Kors business? Maybe, maybe not. I won’t speculate.

This leads me to a few other concerns. The first is WHY these sites can continue to post very untrue statements about people, make them appear legit, and because of a hidden disclaimer, they can not be held responsible for any damage to a reputation or business?

Why do people continue to SHARE & COMMENT on things without either viewing the source (I try to make a mental note of the fictional sites so when I see a link back to them, I know it isn’t true) or taking the minute to just look into it further if the information you’re seeing / reading sounds a little far-fetched. Why have we reached the point in our society where we are so quick to accept a person is bad, a person is secretly racist, the person(s) involved did a bad thing. We assume the worst a lot quicker than assuming the best anymore. I admit I am guilty of it sometimes. Is there so much wrong today it is easy to accept it? That saddens me a little.

My last thought….and this is probably the one troubling me even more; is SOMEONE wrote the words Michael Kors assumably said. The article stated:

“Just for the sake of a sale I have to deal with women like Nicki Minaj? I’d rather not. After all my fans made me money, It’s only fair I be honest and let them know how I really feel,” said [the] CEO of Michael Kors on his twitter account.

The fashion industry is shocked from Michael Kor’s Ceo offensive statement when he said “I’m tired of pretending to like blacks.”

Early Tuesday morning Michael Kors took to his twitter page to express his true feelings about blacks. Considering every black person either has or knows someone with a MK watch, MK Purse or MK key chain this might affect Michael Kors sales.

“I can’t stomach the thought of my Michael Kors purses being stuffed with synthetic hair, weave or what ever else my fans are into.” Said Michael Kors.

Is it just me or is there a lot of HATE in those words? It made me wonder just how full of racism is the person who wrote it? Someone used the power of a fictional accusation to write how they felt. The last part about synthetic hair, weaves, etc really hit me. It just seemed to ooze with hatred.

Someone who hides their racism behind fictional writing to the extent this writer did is someone I would be more concerned about than the person who shows their ignorance or racism openly.

I have said it so many times and I will continue to say it. If our country would just learn to RESPECT other people, we wouldn’t have so many issues. You don’t have to like everyone if you don’t want to, but be respectful of one another. Have a respect for self. Have a respect for life. So many problems would be solved with respect.

Be mindful of what you share on social media. Take a minute to verify. Look to see where the source is. Here is a good article with the list of fake news websites.

Remember, just because it looks legit, doesn’t always MEAN it is legit. Use caution. Use thought. Most of all, protect the share button like you would want someone to do for you.

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You can’t Rape the Willing, or can you? Does Society Tell Men it is OK to Rape when she says no?-HaliPawz

***WARNING, EXPLICIT LANGUAGE***

Sometimes it is not easy to sit down and write about touchy subjects.  This one has been rolling around in my head for a few days and I feel it is important to get the message out.

Society has double standards, everyone knows it, they have chosen to accept it or ignore it.  Sometimes those double standards are also opposite messages.  Society teaches women one thing and men another.  The problem is, who gets hurt when those messages tend to clash so drastically?

I want to share a scenario that has happened all too often in our society.

Jean and Sam go out on a first date.  They both had an ok time at dinner, Jean still isn’t too sure how she feels about him.  As Sam brings her home, he convinces her to let him come in so they can talk a little more and “get to know each other better.”  Jean has been single for a while and in the dating world, she knows what that means to some men.  Sam isn’t taking no for an answer, he convinces her he’ll only be there a few minutes.  He’s a good guy, she needs to give him a chance.

Jean agrees.  As they are sitting on the couch talking, Jean realizes he isn’t a bad guy, she just knows he isn’t the one for her.  As she starts to hint it is time to go, Sam leans over and starts kissing her.  He kisses GREAT.  Jean knows she shouldn’t, but she returns his kisses.  It has been a while since she has been kissed like that.  Maybe there is hope after all.

Sam’s hands start traveling up her shirt.  She pushes them away.  She likes his kisses, but that’s it.  She isn’t going any further with him.  She tells him no.  He starts kissing her neck, her ear.  She likes it, she’s human.  She loves the feel of his lips.  His hands start to undo her pants.  She tells him no again and suggests it is time for him to leave.  As she stands up, he follows her.  He starts kissing her again, this time a little more forcefully.  He takes her hand and places it against his pants…”Come on baby, don’t do this to me” he whispers to her.  She pushes her hand away and says it’s time for him to go.

He doesn’t go.  He starts getting a little rougher, kisses her deeper, by this time he has his penis out of his pants without her even realizing it and wraps her fingers around it with his hand.  He tells her she “can’t get him hard and then just leave him like that” but his tone isn’t as nice as it was when they started.  She says no and pulls her hand away.  He grabs her hand and starts walking down the hallway.  “I know you are a good girl, you have to say no.  Let me help you be bad” His grip on her hand is firm.  “Where is your room?” he asks.  She numbly answers.

Sam doesn’t even realize his kisses are not longer being returned.  Jean is no longer a participant and he doesn’t even care.

They have sex.  Sam gets up, gets dressed, and leaves, making sure to drop a quick kiss on Jean’s lips as he walks out the door, “Thanks babe, talk later” and he’s gone.

Jean knows she won’t hear from him again.  She locks the door, crawls back into bed, trying to figure out what happened.  As she closes her eyes, a single tear slides down her cheek.

No, this isn’t an except from a book.  It is a situation a lot of single women between the ages of 25-45 face, sometimes more than once.  They didn’t want sex but they learn sometimes it is easier to just let it happen than it is to fight him off.  They think to themselves, he’s not the first guy I’ve slept with, he won’t be the last.  Just let him get it over with so he’ll leave.  This is not a “woe is women” or a “let’s bash men” blog, it is about opening our eyes to some of the problems we face in our society.

She will clearly blame herself for letting it happen because, often, we are taught it is the woman’s fault if something goes wrong in the relationship so in this case, she will think she did something to make him think it was ok to sleep with her.

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First, let’s put it out there, Men like sex, women like sex.  The whole myth about men liking it more is ridiculous.

Society teaches women…..”Good Girls Say No” “Bad Girls say yes”

Society teaches men……”Good girls say no because they have to, but they really want it”

Do you see a problem with the teaching????  It leads to MAJOR PROBLEMS.

Growing up in the Law & Order, Law & Order SVU era, we learned rape happens, we learn it can happen by people we know.  What we don’t learn is, Rape isn’t always obvious.  In every episode, the woman (or man) KNOWS they were raped or they were drugged and don’t know a thing.

In this scenario, was Jean raped?  She said no.  She NEVER said yes.  Did she lead him to her room?  Yes, but it wasn’t because she wanted sex with him.  It is because she had been down this road before and knew he wasn’t going to leave until he had sex with her.  At some point, it’s easier to go numbly along than to put up so much of a fight that it feels too much like rape to forget.  But you still don’t forget.  It stays in your memory.

As I talked to women I know about this subject, they sadly recalled a time (or two) it happened to them.  They remember the details like it was yesterday.  They didn’t want sex with the man.  It wasn’t about being a “good girl” it was about the fact HE wasn’t someone they wanted sex with.

Over time, as women who date, as women who do enjoy sex WITH THE RIGHT PERSON, we learn to accept the fact sometimes men are going to get sex if they want it.  They begin to believe they agreed to it.  They chalk it up to a bad decision.  The convince themselves THEY wanted it.  Why?  Because they feel like they contributed to it.  Maybe they shouldn’t have kissed him back.  Why did they show them where the bedroom is? Why did they let him come inside in the first place? Women are taught to accept the blame, because we “know how men can be.”

For some women, they choose they men poorly and it continues to happen.  Perhaps it is a self-esteem issue, perhaps they were raised in the belief you give the man what he wants if you want to keep him, who knows.  I can see how it could easily lead to a different path, like prostitution.  She begins to feel like, hey, if men are going to keep having sex with me when I don’t want it, I might as well get paid for it.  I’m not saying it happens all the time, I am saying it can be understood HOW one might leap from one to the other.

How do we change this?  Honestly, I don’t know if we really can, but it starts with society changing their views…..

For women:  GOOD GIRLS can enjoy sex without feeling guilty about it.  Having consensual sex does not change who you are as a person.

A woman is not a slut if she has sex on the first date.  If they both want to have sex, GREAT.  Now, that doesn’t mean it is advised if you are looking for something long-term and meaningful, but that is for another blog.

Just because you invite him in doesn’t give him the right to expect sex.

Just because you make out with him doesn’t give him the right to expect sex.

Make sure your NO means no, and when you want to say yes, just say yes….don’t feel bad about it

For Men:  Women enjoy sex as much as you, doesn’t mean every woman wants to sleep with you.

No means no, it does NOT mean she is only saying no to put on an appearance of being a good girl.

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Buying her dinner does not give you the right to expect sex

Being invited in to her home does not automatically mean she wants sex, maybe she does sometimes, maybe she doesn’t.

Just because she kisses you doesn’t give you the right to expect it will lead to sex.

I don’t want anyone to think I am making light of rape.  Rape is a heinous crime and happens more often than we even know.

The only way we can stop some of this from happening is to start talking about it. Having open discussions between men and women.  Getting past the negative views society puts on women for enjoying sex so they can talk more openly about the time sex happened they DID NOT want.

It starts with non-judgment and honesty.

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Emergency Vet Care – Be Careful of costs when emotions are high

Christmas Day, 2014, I received a call no pet owner wants to get. My Jack Russell, Zipper, had to be taken to the emergency vet.

I had made the decision to leave them at home this year. It is never easy determining the best course of action for your fur babies, but I felt I had left them in capable hands. They always seem to do best staying in their own home when I have to be away from them. With the addition of a third dog, a Great Dane I had agreed to watch for a couple months while his owner was in transition from one home to another, boarding them would get extremely costly AND with the Great Dane and my Neapolitan Mastiff, it was difficult finding a location with enough room. I had found a very capable dog walker. She seemed to genuinely love being around my three, was very accommodating to the many issues surrounding the three, and was affordable.

I know my dogs are not easy. Zipper has dog aggression and food aggression. Bella, the Mastiff, is very loving but can, at times, get annoyed with her little brother when he is in his mood. I needed someone who was very detailed & methodical to keep them all on point. The person I hired fit that bill. I was impressed with how she handled Zipper during our first interview and with all our interactions following ; picking up and dropping off the key. I had used her at Thanksgiving as well with no issues.

A couple days before Christmas I was told Bella got upset with Zipper over a longer than normal lasting treat. She had rolled him over when he gave her attitude and lightly nipped his leg. She cleaned Zipper up, checked the wound, and everything was all right in the world again. Because of the negative interaction, my dog walker was being extra careful. She made sure all treats and food were consumed before releasing them to play and interact with each other again.

Fast forward to Christmas morning. I received my typical text, alerting me she had arrived to feed and care for them. The plan was minimal time with them so she could go and enjoy the day with her family.

Sadly, the day did not go as planned. Through no fault of my dog walker, a scuffle broke out between my two. A third party had arrived on the premises and a door had been left open. Before she was aware the door was open, she heard a squeal from my JRT. She rushed in see the fight happening. There was dog food in the room and we can only speculate as to what transpired between the two dogs. A 100lb dog mad at an 18lb dog. Not a good combination.

The bites were pretty severe. He needed to be checked out. She had bitten around his leg so there were about 4 bite marks. As you can see (taken 5 days AFTER the attack) the wounds were pretty big. He had to go for treatment.

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He was taken to VCA Mission Animal Referral and Emergency Center in Mission, Kansas. Typical to most emergency veterinary locations, they required a deposit to start seeing him. This is my baby. I’m up in Michigan. It’s Christmas Day. Of course I gave them a credit card and told them to take care of him. When I spoke to the vet, she informed me I would be looking at roughly $700. I told her to go ahead. About an hour later I received a call stating she had looking at him, they were getting ready to sedate him to get him cleaned up. They also needed to X-Ray his leg to make sure there was no other damage. I was told everything had been put in the computer and it would be about $800. Again, I agreed. This is my baby. He was going to be taken care of.

Later in the day I was told he was resting peacefully and would be able to go home in the morning but he would need constant care because they couldn’t stitch him up yet. They wanted to allow the wounds to breath a few days. I was also told leaving him there a couple days would be another option. The vet told me she would call me in the morning to discuss my options.

I was relieved. I knew he was ok, he was getting strong anti-biopics and pain medication. Bella, my Mastiff, was getting care at home, and the Great Dane was with his owner. My emotions had been running high all day trying to decide if I should stay or head home. It is never an easy decision.

I received the call the next day. Zipper was eating fine but he was heavily medicated. I was told they could keep him there for $80 a day or I could come pick him up and bring him back every day for a dressing change. It would just be an office visit of $25 every day. $25 vs $80 when I am 13 hours away. I made the decision to keep him there a couple more days so he could have the utmost care and be watched. With the wounds still open, we had to be careful of infection. It was worth the extra $50+ for him to be cared for better than I could care for him.

Even though I was concerned about him, I made the decision to keep my trip as planned, let him stay in the animal hospital, and let Bella be cared for as we had scheduled.  I felt good about this decision, as good as I could while still being concerned about Zipper.  On Saturday, I received a picture of Bella and could see she was sad.  I even responded as such.  The reply I received was enough to tell me I had to head home.  Bella was starting to break down.  She went from a home with me and two other dogs, to me being gone and the other two dogs taken away from the home quickly with emotions running through the humans.  She was starting to not eat.  She was distressed.  I had to go.  I finished up a few errands I needed to do in Michigan, loaded up the car, and headed out.

I ended up stopping in a rest area to sleep for a few hours, driving overnight is never easy.  I let my dog walker know to go ahead and feed Bella Sunday morning so her schedule wasn’t off.  I didn’t need anything else to stress her out.  I had planned to get home, unload the rental car, take a quick shower, then go and get Zipper.  Plans changed quickly.  I was not ready for Bella’s attitude.  She cried and whined.  From the minute I walked in the door she started searching the house and just kept crying.  I could tell she was happy to see me but it wasn’t enough.  Every time I went out to get something from the car, I could hear her non stop.  The problem was, I didn’t know what to expect from Zipper either.  I knew he would need 24 hour care and could not be left alone, but could he be left alone long enough to go out and finish unloading the rental?  Would him and Bella be ok?  She bit him HARD the last time he saw her.  Would he forgive her?  All of these thoughts were going through my head.  I didn’t know what I was getting into.

I made the decision to just unload the perishable items and my suitcases.  I chose to skip the shower.  I was going to get Zipper.  It BROKE MY HEART leaving Bella again.  To shut the door on her and hearing her cries as I walked to my vehicle.  It was almost more than I could take.  I could not take her.  I didn’t know what the attitudes would be and could not risk it with Zipper being so injured.

I arrived at the vets office and was presented with the bill BEFORE I could see Zipper.  I understand the reason behind it, they need to get paid, but I just wanted to see Zipper.  I didn’t even really look at the bill, handed over my credit card, and signed the receipt.  Once it was paid, they called back and said he was to be released.  While I waited for him, I looked over the bill and was shocked at what I saw.  Not only had the $800 quote moved to $1200 but the “$80 a day” had switched to $141 a day!!!!  Are you kidding me?!?! A 76% increase OVER what I was quoted!!!  What choice did I have?  The work had been done.  I wanted my dog.

No, I couldn’t let it go.  It’s not RIGHT to take advantage of people when they are emotional.  I saw Zipper.  My heart BROKE.  He was so heavily medicated and bandaged up.  He looked horrible.

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As you can see from these pics, it would be easy to just focus on him and not think about the costs as the time.

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I started to walk away and stopped. I had to say something. I asked the associate at the front desk about it. I explained my concern. He said he would talk to the business manager and have her get back to me.  I was coming in the next day so I was ok with waiting, plus it was Sunday so I figured I wouldn’t get an answer.

I arrived home and was careful to not allow any apprehension creep into my thoughts.  I wanted a positive greeting.  I walked in, dropped the leash so I could go and block the dog door.  Zipper was supposed to only go out on a leash long enough to go potty, and then back in.  We had to minimize his risk of infection.  Before I could slide the lock down, Zipper was OUT THE DOOR cone and all! The little brat!  I popped the door out and went out on the deck to get him.  He was going to the bathroom, so I waited.  Bella was ecstatic!  She was hopping all over the deck.  Leaping into the air.  Spinning.  She was so happy to have her brother back!  Zipper finished going to the bathroom and ran up onto the deck and was sniffing her like crazy.  He was pretty groggy so I took him in, showed him his new dog bed, and he proceeded to get in it and lay down.  Bella seemed to understand she had to be easy around him.  My fur family was going to be ok.

I went in for my follow up and Zipper was taken back right away.  The vet came out to discuss my options.  I could either stich him up (which would be a ridiculous cost; he said it would be about $800 – $1100)  or I could remove the bandages, keep him on an anti-biotic and pain medication, and let nature heal him correctly.  He would have a small scar but his hair should cover it up.  He was upfront and said he wasn’t recommending the surgery.  He didn’t feel it was necessary.  Zipper came out of sedation rough the first time and he didn’t feel it was in his best interest to sedate him again.  He warned me there would be some discharge from the open wounds though, so if that was going to bother me, I should consider the surgery.  I know there are people out there that would opt for the quicker, less messy, fix.  For me, it wasn’t about the cost, it was about what was in Zipper’s best interest.  I didn’t want him sedated again.  I would take on the responsibility of putting warm compresses on the wounds three times a day, I would deal with the oozing, healing, wounds.  I knew it would take an extra week for him to heal; stiches would be about 10 -12 days, letting it heal naturally would be about 21 days.  I was prepared for that.

They brought Zipper out to me and I went to check out.  I asked again about the bill and the associate checking me out was looking at me like I was speaking a foreign language!  Ugh!  Here we go again.  I re-explained my concern about the bill. She assured me she would discuss it with the business manager, she handed me a business card, said she wouldn’t charge me the office visit , and she would have the business manager give me a call.  I made my appointment for the following Monday and left.

I arrived for my follow up and was handed some receipts.  I glanced at them quickly, saw a “-” sign by a dollar amount and assumed they had just corrected my bill without calling me.  Not a great business practice but I didn’t care as long as my bill was adjusted.  Zipper entertained the waiting area with his Terrier cuteness, cone and all, so I watched him.  While he was back for his follow up, I glanced at the papers given to me.  There were the EXACT SAME RECEIPTS I already had!  Are you kidding me?  Zipper was brought back out to me and I went to the front desk to check out.  It was the same associate I had talked to talked to the previous Monday.  I asked her about it again and she looked at me like it was the first time she was hearing it.  I showed her the card she gave me the previous week.  I was told to have a seat.

I was met by the director of client services.  She took me back into a room and I explained my concern yet again.  I explained my frustration with the lack of communication.  As we talked, she explained all phone calls are recorded so she would be able review the conversations between me and the veterinarian I talked to.  I said “Great!”  I was genuinely happy to have them reviewed.   She seemed a little surprised I was encouraging the review.  I knew I was right about what I heard so I wanted the review.  She apologized for the lack of communication and assured me I would hear back from her. I was happy with the communication and was glad I had said something.

The week days passed.  By Thursday, I still had not heard from her, so I called the office.  I was told they were having problems with their phone systems, they had a technician coming out, and was asked to be patient.  I felt like I was just getting the run around, but I said ok and continued to wait.

Zipper and Bella were doing well.  Zipper was healing nicely.  They were starting to interact again, rather than just tolerate each other.  Bella wanted to play and would paw his cone to get his attention.  I could tell he was still a little nervous around her, but was just encouraging positive interaction and letting them take it at their own speed.  I was so happy the day I looked over and Zipper was giving Bella kisses!

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About a week later, I finally received the call I was waiting for. I was told they were finally able to review the conversations and I would be getting a refund. She wasn’t sure how much because the business manager was out with the flu and she would need to discuss it with her. I was understanding and said I would wait, figuring it wouldn’t be until the next week since it was already Friday. I called Monday to follow up and was told the associate I was dealing with wasn’t in. I understood. I called again on Wednesday. They took my name before telling me if she was in or not. They came back on the phone telling me she wasn’t in but I could leave a voicemail. They were expecting her in later in the day.

Well, a month after I started talking to them about the cost, I FINALLY received a call back and I am happy to report they are refunding me some of my payment. My perseverance paid off. I am EXTREMELY happy with the outcome and believe they are being fair.

do not believe they practiced good business behavior on the front side. I wonder how many other pet parents paid the bill without saying a word? I do appreciate their correcting the situation.

Bottom line, even in emotional situations, you have the right AND the duty to be informed and follow up. In any medical situation, human or animal, go through your itemized bill. If there is a problem or concern, voice it. The outcome may not always be in your favor but YOU are your own best advocate!

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Deflated Balls in Your Face. Another Win for the NFL! My Ramdomocity Submission-HaliPawz

As a new writer, it is easy to sit and post a blog about your thoughts and ideas to share with friends and family, because, let’s face it, they will either read it or ignore it.  They know your personality.  As you reader count increases, you begin to realize maybe there is something to your writing.  I recently decided to take a chance and I sent Randomocity a link to my work.  I wanted to be considered for position they had open.  I didn’t know if anything would come of it.  It is never easy to have someone new review your work at your request.

I received an email back asking me to listen to a recent podcast and write about something discussed without repeating what others have already said.  Sounds simple, right?  WRONG!  They wanted it by the end of the week, the problem was, I was just reading it on Friday!  Because multiple people were CC’d on the email, it had inadvertently gone into my SPAM folder.  It had been sent on Tuesday.

I went upstairs to my office to begin working right away.

It was no problem to listen to the podcast, I actually like listening to them. They are funny, witty, and put a twist on current events.  As I sat listening, I was also typing up my “about me” info they had requested.  I had just finished putting the comment in the email about how much I am NOT a sports person, so I probably wouldn’t be able to contribute much in that area when I hear them talking about “Deflated Balls”  Ugh!  Not those again.  I finished the email part and just listened to the rest of the podcast, staring at a blank word document.

I went back to the email, reread what they were looking for from me, reread my “about me” portion, and laughed.  I was going to write about sports!  The words flowed quickly, I proofread it, and loved it.  I think it is important for a writer to lover their own work.  I asked in my email if I could also put it on my blog.

They liked it!  Not going to lie, I was happy!  Not only did they like it, they actually wanted to post it on it on their site!

Here is a preview of my submission.

I am not a sports fan.  I admit it openly and often.  Throughout my dating life, I had the pleasure, or displeasure, of dating college athletes, former professional athletes, and, well, men in general.  Imagine that, a heterosexual woman dating a man?  Anyway….one thing I have learned from dating these athletes; they LOVE sports.  I mean, LOVE sports.  I don’t.  I don’t appreciate Sports Center being on the television 24/7, I don’t appreciate having to rearrange my schedule just because there is a game to watch.  I will watch a sporting event live but I think it is because I love the excitement in the air from the fans.  It’s infectious.  I just don’t see the point of watching it on TV.  Too many commercials, too drawn out, too many instant replays.  It just gets annoying.

I know the Super Bowl is this Sunday.  I’m pretty sure everyone in America knows it unless they are living off the grid.  It is bad enough for two weeks leading up to the Super Bowl, we non-sports fans are subjected to all things football and beyond.  Of course, the appetizer recipes aren’t all bad, so I guess there is a win for us somewhere.

I try to ignore the Super Bowl hype lead up.  I tend to not watch commercials anyway, I DVR most of my shows.  This year, I was forced to learn about deflated balls.  Here is something I discovered; it doesn’t matter how old you are, how famous you are, you can still be an adolescent child when the opportunity presents itself…..

                        To Finish Reading, Click Here to Visit Randomocity’s Website

Enjoy or Ignore the Super Bowl today; you won’t escape those Deflated Balls!

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When a gun kills, the blame game starts but it stops too early

I was reading / watching an article on NBC today about a young child who killed his younger brother with a gun in his grandfather’s home.

NBC News; Child kills 9 month old brother

This is a HORRIBLE story, one no parent should ever have to experience.  My heart goes out to them.  This blog isn’t about this family in particular but about all of the blame going to the gun.  Let’s get one thing straight, a gun, by itself, cannot kill someone.  You need a bullet in the chamber.  You need a way for the trigger to be pulled, usually a human but I have heard stories where an animal was too close and played with the trigger.

This story shared a lot of problems that exist in today’s world and I want to break them down a little more.

*The gun was loaded.  WHY was the gun loaded?  Even when used for protection, if the gun is not within your control, it should NOT be loaded.  You can have a bullets in the magazine and have the magazine located within a close proximity so you can grab them quickly if needed, but they should never be put together when you are not handling it, especially when there are children around.

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*The parents said they did not know a gun was in the house but also said they grew up with guns.  If you grew up with one or both parents owning guns, why would there be an assumption guns weren’t still in the home.  Unless your parent has changed DRASTICALLY, it is probably understood there are guns in the home.  I think the blame is on all adults for not asking / communicating correctly about weapons.

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*You could open the safe easily.  Umm, then it isn’t a safe!  Don’t get me wrong, I grew up with rifles available in the home and they were not in a safe.  We knew not to touch them.  If we DID touch them, it was with permission and we were well aware it had the capabilities of taking a life, be it animal or human.  We were raised to not point the barrel at anything we were not prepared to shoot and kill.  My issue is having the false sense of security keeping a gun in a safe that is a safe in appearance only.  If you are going to use a gun safe, it better be a SAFE!

*The boys were told to not go in the room, but boys will be boys.  REALLY?!?!?  Are you kidding me?  Shame on any adult with that mentality.  How about raising your children to RESPECT boundaries and rules.  How about teaching young children about the firearm in the room.  If you aren’t willing to teach the child about the firearm and about the danger of the firearm, then PUT IT SOMEPLACE HIGH, HIDDEN, AND SAFE!!!  Better yet, if you aren’t willing to teach the child about the firearm, take it out of the house while they are in your home.  If we take the mentality, boys will be boys, then we are saying we have an expectation of boys doing just about anything.  I am willing to bet a boy can understand the concept of touching a stove means you will get burned, so they could understand the concept of a gun having the ability to harm or kill someone or something.  I don’t believe boys are the only ones capable of having an accident like this, I was focused on the “boys will be boys” comment.  It is just as easy for it to happen to a little girl as it is a boy if she is not taught about safely handling a gun.  I am a woman, I enjoy shooting.  I was a girl and I handled bb guns / rifles.

*Maybe he learned to shoot a gun from television.  You know, we have a crazy idea of wanting our television shows to be as realistic as possible.  We want the gun fight to look like a real gunfight.  We want death to look like a person really dead.  How can we expect a young child to truly understand a gun kills if they are allowed to watch these realistic shows and they see the person later on another show.  What discussions are taking place to explain television isn’t the same as real life.  It is pretend, even when it looks so real.

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I don’t necessarily agree with the “rapper” comment, but the concept speaks volumes.  We have to educate instead of television being the educator.

Having discussions with children, teaching them to be respectful of adults and rules, explaining the power and danger of any type of weapon, it doesn’t have to just be a gun; it can be a knife, an ax, any weapon, are all ways to stop these situations from happening.  We started with BB Guns, we had the SAME rules for the BB Gun as we had for the other rifles.  We were never allowed to shoot at birds, animals of any kind.  The rule in our home was, “If you aim at it, be prepared to kill it, if you kill it, be prepared to eat it”  The idea was teaching us you didn’t kill just for a sport, you could shoot for sport; we shot at soup cans, blown up balloons, anything that did not have life attached to it.  We were also taught to respect hunting seasons, if you wanted to hunt, you hunted for the meat, not for the sport of hunting.  Handguns aren’t used for hunting usually, but if you instilled the same set of rules with the handguns, the number of accidental shootings would decrease drastically.

Guns, when handled responsibly and RESPECTED BY ALL, can be safe around children and adults.

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